So this Sunday was the open-air convention in Dordrecht, where I had a fairly good time. And in the week leading up to it, I sudddenly realised I'd have nothing to show if A) people would ask me what I drew, and B) fans would show up. I know the people from option B exist. They email me. Sometimes. And they're good folk as far as I can tell, so I wouldn't want to disappoint them.
So in the week heading up to the con I stressed to get some cute 1-inch buttons printed. But no one could deliver them on time, even though I pulled a nigh-allnighter making eight really cool designs with four days to spare to print'em, and even though I also offered to come fetch them myself, so the snailmail delay wouldn't be a factor. No one could deliver ! No buttons !
Bummed out about that, I had - naturally, being me - prepared for this eventuality by quickly also having put together a plan B. I threw all three finished Artificial Real stories together in a little booklet, which I knew would still be perfectly feasable to get printed on time.
However, in order to get it printed at my usual copyshop, I'd have to leave the office early to get back to Tilburg before its closing time. Which would mean the trains needed to co-operate as well. And this would be my only shot, because it was Thursday by then and they're not open on Saturday or Sunday, so I had to get it in THAT day to have the booklets on Friday. And that's only if they're not overbooked, which they are sometimes. So... That's a lot of ifs. Not my style when this close to a convention, it turns out, so instead I tried to locate the copyshop closest to my office. I found one, with a lot of trouble (it was fairly difficult to find, geographically and on foot) but they took the CD in and said no problem, I could come get them Friday. That's right - haul my ass back to Amsterdam for the booklets on my day off, and then back to Tilburg. That's how far I was willing to go not to disappoint people who might want to buy something from just me. And I did it.
And they looked like crap. I found out underway back home. And they cost me friggin' 150 euros. Which is dead expensive - I'm never using that copyshop again. Awful quality for a huge price. Bad business.
So that set me back a bit, but there were 100 of them, so the cost price was 1, 50. Since I knew I wouldn't be selling all of them, and also would (kind of have to) give away a few for free to fellow comic artists and the like, the only way I might get my money back out of this bad decision would be if I got about 100% profit per booklet. So I charged 3 euros last Sunday.
And now I feel bad. Awful. I mean, they really do look like crap. This printing quality is inexcusable. It's not actually my fault, but I feel guilty. I feel like I stole from the people who I sold this to. And there were only five of them, anyway, so I'm still stuck with some eighty or so of these things.
I know at least two of the people I sold these to. I'm seriously considering giving them their money back. The problem is, there's three more that these have been sold to that I didn't get to meet (I was elsewhere, the other people at the stand sold 'em). I have no clue who THOSE people are, and it wouldn't be fair to give the first two their money back if I didn't also reimburse the other three.
Now, I know it probably doesn't matter to the people who bought these. I signed the damn things, so they got SOMETHING. And they clearly were willing to pay three god damn euros (!) for these things. But it's my own conscience that's bugging me. I feel like I'm going to hell. I don't mind cursing, swearing, drinking without bounds, smoking, fornicating (hell, no), blaspheming (HELL, no), putting people's faith through the test, and lord (ha ha) knows what other things that most serious catholics would abhor about me. But I do mind the thought that I'm stealing. Off nice folks, no less. I had trouble sleeping last night, I don't mind telling you.
So I'm willing to do this. I mean, we're talking a lousy fifteen bucks here. I'll just somehow have to find out who those three people were, and that's the problem. This was an open air convention, anyone could go there. No entrance fee, you just had to visit the city it was held at.
I have no other starting point than this blog. If any of you reading this happen to be one of the three people who bought my "Artificial Real, Prereleased" booklet (or one of the two I know by name - you know who you are) on Sunday, June 5th, 2005, please, contact me through Probeersel.com (there's a 'send email to this artist' link somewhere there). I'll send you an email back and will probably ask for a picture of you with the booklet to make sure I'm not being had (because if I wouldn't, I bet about sixteen million people would be emailing me, demanding their three euros back....) but I promise that if you're one of those three people, and you ask nicely, I'll return you your three euros.
Please. Contact me. Ease my conscience. I honestly feel like a bad guy now and I want it to stop.
God, I hate working for print. Free webcomics are so much less complicated and easier on my conscience...
