Realisation.

Warning beforehand: this will be a very long post once it's done. Not that you're not used to those from me, but just saying. I'll also be writing it in parts, spanning several days, so unless it actually ends with 'and that's the end of this long post', you might want to check back later to read the rest. If you're actually interested. Again, just saying.

I've come to an important realisation on Monday night. And it's one that, when I'll utter it here, will no doubt insult several people close to me. I don't intend to, but I'm going to be brutally honest. I figured out what's wrong with me. Or rather, with life. And why it and I don't get along too well most of the time.

I hate being bored.

I've always hated it. No matter what my report cards used to look like otherwise when I grew up, one element was a constant: a little foot-note from the teacher that says 'is easily distracted'. I get bored easily. I'm all for exciting new things. As long as I'm exposed to those, I'm happy. I'm productive. I'm enthousiastic. I have the energy of ten men or more.
But then it wears down. This is why, when I used to run, I was mainly a sprinter. I can get excited and energetic about running for a short bit, after that, I get bored. Major energy drain. Slow down - stop. Done.

And I've come to realise that there's nothing as boring as adult life. Good grief !
I mean, to some of you this may not come as a surprise. I'll assume that anyone reading this is pretty much an adult. So how do you all do it ? Because I'm not exaggerating -- I can't stand being bored. I don't just hate it, I can't stand it. It breaks me. And more and more it seems that everything is becoming boring. People strive so damn much for mediocricy and safety. I want to see pioneers, I want to see people going to their limits and beyond, I want to see energy, passion, creation. I want people to amaze me, instead of being surrounded by millions and millions of painstakingly predictable humans.

And no one really amazes me much anymore.
Want to hear the two times this year that I felt alive ? One was during the 24 Hour Comic Day marathon in Lambiek, Amsterdam, two weeks ago. Seven artists pushing their limits AND creating amazing work, that surpasses what they usually do by far, despite the stressful deadline of having to create a complete 24 page story in 24 hours. You could FEEL the creative energy there. You could see it on the pages, and you could touch it. And I remembered doing that the year before. And I was excited.
The other time was during ClickBurg. When I finally *saw* the convention I wanted to see. Because that's the only reason I put half a year's worth of effort and time into this - I loved the idea of a webcomics convention and wanted to *see* it. It seemed exciting, and no one else was setting it up. And I'm not the type to sit around waiting 'till someone gets their thumb out of their damn ass and follows up on such a great idea, when it's such an exciting idea. I want excitement and I want it now, damnit.

But that's just it. The only two exciting things so far this year were things that, in some way, were pioneered by myself. Last year I was - to my knowledge - the first Dutch (successful - sorry Greg, I realise your effort counts for a lot more than mine that year, considering your circumstances, but a 12 Hour Comic still isn't like a 24 Hour one.. you need to have passed that 18 hour limit to understand, honestly) comic artist to participate in a 24 Hour Comic attempt. I didn't actually *know* anyone who'd done it, and I wanted to know what it was like. No one could tell me. So I had to go ahead and do it myself. Which was a fascinating experience, and it was great to see seven others try their hand at it this year, and to see other Dutch comic artists suddenly get excited as well and exclaim that they want to do one too. But *I* had to do it, and *I* had to report on it.
Same with ClickBurg - I just want someone else to do something grand, pioneering, dazzling, daring, to just go ahead on a crazy idea and turn it into something spectacular. Not a repeat-act of something done before, no, something new, big, scary, ... something magnificent ! Don't you people want to do magnificent things ?? Don't you want to BE magnificent ? Don't you want to know you HAVE done something magnificent ?

I'm getting bored with being a part of such things. As said, I get bored quickly, because I really haven't been part of MANY such things yet. I'll quickly and honestly admit that ! But see... with ClickBurg, part of my job was to decide EXACTLY what it would be like. So on the day itself, it.. pretty much was like the idea I'd been working on for half a year. It wasn't until a few people there were doing strange and exciting new things that I myself got excited. Everything else was just.. as expected. As intended. Boring. To me. The only thing exciting about that was that to the audience and the artists there, it was new and exciting, and it was exciting to see how they would like it.

I realised this yesterday. On a long walk home. I was stranded in the centre of Tilburg around midnight, with no bike available to me and no public transport operational anymore at that hour, and I felt like some excitement. So I went to 'my' bar, the Cul de Sac, to see if I could encounter something or someone interesting enough to satisfy my little hunger for adventure.
Sure enough, there were some interesting people there. There was a guy who was there while his girlfriend was visiting a male friend of hers that he wasn't allowed to visit, since he's already beaten him up a few times. Then he proceeded to demonstrate on me how easily he could immobilize me by grabbing my throat. He also wanted to demonstrate how he could level me with one finger in between my ribs. As I said, an interesting fellow. I didn't think it wise to get immobilized on a working night, so I gave him a beer and moved on to other people.
There was a woman there, slightly older than me, not unpretty, semi-drunk, who was playing pool with some showoff from Eindhoven. While he was getting us some drinks, she told me she'd never met this showoff guy before but he just started acting like he'd known her for years as soon as he walked in. Even drank from her drink, took some of her cigarettes, etc. The Cul is always full of interesting folks, as I may have told you before.
When the showoff guy finally stayed away, she proceeded to challenge me with a game of pool. I didn't feel like playing to be honest, and I played crap. Deliberately. This may sound odd, but I had nothing to gain by playing well - there was another showoff guy there who tried difficult shots just because I was challenging him to do so, and when I was playing, he actually yanked my arm (he was drunk too) and said he wanted to see mee pull a few power shots. So I didn't - I mean, if he's stupid enough to feel challenged by a total stranger for no reason, that's fine for him, but I had nothing to gain by doing so. Besides, the girl I was playing against was, as said, drunk, so what kind of victory would I be going for ? It was much more interesting to observe her attitude and behavior changing while I was playing crap. She lost all interest in the game, and some in me. Which I enjoyed. I'm an odd fellow, I know.
I walked away having won two things by losing. I won that I got to really observe what the girl was like and what she's all about, and I walked away having lost people's interest. Which I've had way too much of during the past half year. I walked the streets home as an anonymous loser. And it was nice. A feeling without any pressure. A feeling that if I wanted to, I could leave all the fuss there had been, and still is, in the comic projects I am and was involved with, behind. Easily.
That's when I realised how few really interesting people I met anymore. And how desperately I want to meet someone interesting - even for art's sake, because I have two weeks to finish the ten page story I'm doing. Which is about a rather love-less character's life being turned up side down by a woman who manages to dazzle him. The problem is, I haven't been in love in some three, four years anymore. No one dazzles me anymore. I have to draw a (text-less) story about falling in love, and about a woman interesting enough to pull this off, while these things have no basis for me in reality anymore. I'm going to have to hack it, somehow, because odds are reality isn't going to help me out in the next week and a half that I have left for this story.

By the time I was nearly home, I realised how bored I was. In life. This may sound strange when you know how busy I am, but it's perfectly possible to be bored out of your wits despite being terribly busy. Think mind-numbing tasks, like working at an assembly line or other routine tasks, and you'll have an idea of what I mean. I have a lot to do, and it's not unimportant, not even completely uninteresting, that these things get done, but there's not much where I actually will amaze myself anymore. There's no thrill, no excitement, in all these activities. I'm just busy. With stuff that bores me.

That's not the best realisation to arrive home with. I proceeded to bed and overslept because all motivation to get up lacked me - I was also very tired.

I need something new. Something exciting. But I won't be able to do anything new or exciting in my current production schedule. So I have to get rid of some things, and finish a few others. The ten page story, I have a week and a half to finish. The loose projects and other things, I've planned into my spare time as near in the future as I could. And the Word of the Day, is stopping.

At first, it seemed like a great idea. It still is. But it was also mainly a discipline thing. I wanted to actively watch the media, and blog something intelligent every day about it. The Word of the Day was an easy task for this. But that's just it - while the first couple of weeks, the words that turned up actually amazed and thrilled me a bit, there's not much new and exciting in it anymore. Even worse: the news papers are written by numbed-down adults. I have to plough through all this CRAP that I normally would want to steer clear of, just to find words that are becoming more and more predictable. And it takes too much time that I could be spending on doing something amazing or new, or watching and inspiring others to do something amazing or new. I know the original idea was that I kept this up all year, and then at the end of the year would watch the actual additions to our dictionary (every year, new words are added, and they actually do report which ones and why) and see if any of the words I blogged made the cut. But it'd waste too much of my time and energy, and it doesn't interest me anymore.

So there you have it. The Word of the Day will be over soon. I invite anyone else to take it up instead if you want, because it actually is an interesting excercise, and I won't mind *reading* the continuation of this concept. But I won't be doing it myself. I feel I may have better things to do.

With a slight sense of duty I will finish the week that I broke off at, below. I still have the papers, and I've already scanned them and underlined the interesting words. I'll also blog the finds of this week. But after that, that's it. This mission is over, because I have nothing to gain and too much to lose by it. Spoken like a true Dutchman.

So, this post will, in the next few days, be expanded to include the Words of the Day for April 21, 22, 23, and May 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 and 14. And two more picks of the Word of the Week. But then it's over, I'm done.

Check back for these words if it interests you. I'll be updating this post when I can, and it won't be over unless the post ends with that the post is over. It's not, yet.

I can't promise anything about what will be blogged after this week. Maybe this blog will die down altogether. At least it was an interesting run so far, and who knows, if I stumble upon something really new and exciting, either done by myself or someone else, I'll track it here for you all to read. But we'll have to see.

Candidates for Thursday April 21:

- 'migrantenvrouwen' (migrants' wives), 'gezinsvormers' (family builders) and 'gezinsherenigers' (people reuniting their family). All media hype words just created for this one article, and none actually useful.
- 'swifferdoekjes' (Swiffer rags). This is a brand name, folks. It's not uncommon to see brand names become so common that they enter the language, but I still find it troubling to see it happen with the Swiffer pads.
- 'Koranverbrander' (koran burner). Media hype word, that could easily have been split into two or three words !
- 'inflatievrees' (fear of inflation).
- 'chipmachinemaker' (producer of machines that make electronic chips).
- 'beloningsstijging' (reward increase - this is about top executives receiving higher and higher bonus pays and other benefits on top of their actual salaries).
- 'babybonus' (no translation necessary). I'm not sure if I should nominate this, because it's about Australia and I have no idea if the bonus that the government pays to people who become parents (in an attempt to actively increase the total population) is actually called this word, but in English it's usually not common to contract two words like this, so it looks like a Dutch version of the word. In other words, out the window with it. Media hype word !
- 'kinderhumor' (children's humour). Which, of course is so completely different from adult humour or any other kind of humour that it needed to become a seperate word. I disagree.
- 'inburgeraar' - migrants who have to adjust to Dutch culture to fit in. Media hype word, and majorly so !

And the Word of the Day for this date is: 'babybonus'.

Candidates for Friday April 22:

- 'Hollywoodkansen' (Hollywood opportunities). This is one article that encompasses three showbizz news items, and thus describes three completely different interpretations of 'opportunity'. It's justabout the lamest excuse I've ever seen for inventing a new word: not wanting to come up with three headline titels, so uniting three news items into one, without additional explanation, just this new word as the total headline. Down the drain with it !
- 'mobieltjessoap' (mobile phone soap opera). Offering a soap opera through multimedia on mobile phones apparently is so special that we require this media hype word.

I'm gonna go with 'Hollywoodkansen' as today's winner.

Candidates for Saturday April 23:

Today's only candidate and therefor the winner was 'drankmisbruikers' (alcohol abusers).

Word of the Week for that week:

Monday: 'probleemberen'
Tuesday: 'anti-piraterijmusketiers'
Wednesday: 'atoomspion'
Thursday: 'babybonus'
Friday: 'Hollywoodkansen'
Saturday: 'drankmisbruikers'

And the Word of the Week is: 'anti-piraterijmusketiers' !

Candidates for Monday May 9:

- 'marssonde' (mars probe). This word didn't need to exist, it could easily have been described as two separate words - I mean, surely the mars probe can be used for other planets as well ? Or is it that unique ? And if there's only one of them, do we need this word in our language ?
- 'belastingschandaal' (tax scandal). Media hype word, because it refers to a scandal surrounding an Amsterdam politician who actually just didn't do anything truly wrong, just didn't submit his expenses payments to taxes, and who has corrected this and even paid the full amount back. The article proceeds to invent the word 'belastingaffaire' (tax affair) as well.
- 'poptempel' (pop (music) temple). Er..... ? This is just a music hall, folks. There are no goats or children being sacrificed to pop music. Nor are there ceremonies being held, or are there pop priests attending these.
- 'misdaadsteden' (crime cities). I enjoyed nominating this one, because one of my favorite rant topics is the 'criminal' and 'dangerous' reputation 'my' city Tilburg has gotten over the years. This article invents the word 'misdaadsteden' but also proudly tells the reader that Amsterdam is no longer in the top 3 of them. So which are ? Well, one through four are Rotterdam, Arnhem, Eindhoven, and Amsterdam. At best, Tilburg could be fifth place, but isn't even mentioned in this article ! GO TILBURG !
- 'onbemiddelbaren' (unmediateables - yes, to translate this I had to invent a new English word). This is about people who end up in the welfare system and never get out of it anymore for the rest of their lives. The article calls them the unmediateables. The Unmediateables - starring Kevin Costner as a deadbeat, trailer park dad, Sean Connery as a hopeless drug addict, and Robert de Niro as the welfare agent trying to get the system to work. I couldn't work a joke into this about the baby carriage on the steps... Media hype word !
- 'misdaadpoliticus' (crime politician). This is about Peter R. de Vries, TV's self-labelled 'misdaadverslaggever' (crime reporter), who's trying to go for a career in politics. Media hype word !
- 'spijbelcafé's' (bars for skipping school). Media hype word for bars in Belgium under political fire for actually daring to cater kids who are already skipping school anyway, because their special breakfast-and-booze deals only inspire more skipping school.
- 'opknapwoning' (house that you have to fix up). This article is all about the home market and what you should buy, especially when you're starting out. The word apparently comes from the language 'makelarees' (real estate agent-ese). Glad someone speaks it...

And the Word of the Day for this date is: 'makelarees' !

Candidates for Tuesday May 9:

- 'koolstofexplosie' (carbon explosion). I thought I paid plenty of attention in chemistry class but that carbon causes such a unique explosion that it requires its own word, was unbeknownst to me.
- 'staatsexamen'. This is actually about a driving class and exam you can take when you've failed four times in regular driving tests, which is actually taught by a department of the government. Still, to call it a state exam.. it makes it sound like an immigrant's exam ! From the same article: 'rijbewijsbezitters' (driving permit owners).
- 'moederdagtaart' (Mother's Day cake). Yes, I saw the picture of our queen inspecting a very special cake on Mother's Day, but it was called a Mother's Day cake in general. So despite the fact that it refers to a very special cake, the word is clearly intended to just mean 'cake intended for consumption on Mother's Day'. I doubt we need this word, folks. Nominated !
- 'Europales' (Europe lesson). This is about a politician and a colourful frog mascotte teaching kids in grammar school about Europe. Once. Useless media hype word.
- 'olietapijt' (oil carpet). This is a big puddle of oil floating on the ocean. Most carpets don't float on the ocean, and most people don't make carpets out of oil. This word is a bit unclear to say the least, and makes a pretty useless addition to the Dutch language on the confusion argument alone.
- 'bestverkopende' (best selling).
- 'Gamesfanaten' (games fanatics). What's next, games fundamentalists ?
- 'antispywarebedrijf' (anti-spyware company).
- 'drinkgewoonten' (drinking habits). This is not about people addicted to alcohol, this is actually referring to 'drinking behavior', as observed by market research for beer companies.
- 'kruimelcriminelen' (petty criminals). I can accept that 'kruimeldief' (petty thief) exists, but do we need a subsection in the spectre of criminal activities just for everything petty now ? What does this include ? Petty drug dealers ? Petty rapists ? Petty murderers ? The fact that 'kruimel' actually means 'crumb' only makes the word sound more hilarious, by the way. And from the same article: 'evenementen-offensief' (events offensive). Before every big event, cops will go by known 'kruimelcriminelen' and hunt them down.
- 'voorbereidingshandelingen' (preparation actions). Before you can spell this word, you could have been ready with any preparations you needed to take.
- 'busconstructeurs' (bus constructors). People who design buses are mentioned in this article, because they have investigated ways to keep stupid people (read: drunk soccer hooligans, actually referred to in the article as 'jolly passengers') from being able to stick their heads out of emergency exits in the roof and thus getting themselves killed. I really don't see how that's the problem of the bus designer - anyone with two brain cells will know it's not just disallowed, but stupid and dangerous to stick your head out there. On the grounds of the article alone I'd nominate this word, but it also so closely resembles the Dutch word for bus conductor that I nearly missed it. Confusion alert ! Let's prevent it by keeping this word out of the Dutch language.
- 'concurrentievervalsing' (competition forgery). This word made me furrow my brow - it's about corrupt boat tour companies advertising online for cheaper tourist boat rides through Amsterdam in unsafe boats. But... how, then, are they 'forging the competition' ? I picture some guy shouting at a cardboard competitor, claiming he's real if anyone asks. Nono, this guy is real, honest. Tell him, tell him you are my fierce competitor ! Damnit, he tipped over again - look what you did !
- 'snoeprovers' (candy robbers) and 'snoeproof' (candy robbing). Because someone robbing your candy just as you exit the store differs a lot from being robbed from anything else.
- 'zonnesterkteindicator' (sunshine strength indicator). Alerts you when the sun is shining too strongly and you should put some sunblock on. Useful, but we really don't need this word - split it up, hussle it a bit, and you have a perfectly good alternative term to describe it, without having to introduce a new media hype word, obviously copied straight from the press release.
- 'gelukssensoren' (happiness sensors). This is an article about what is triggered in the brain by vanilla. Not about antennas sticking out of our heads telling us which way to go to find happiness.

And the Word of the Day for this date is: 'kruimelcriminelen' !

Candidates for Wednesday May 9:

- 'dinosauriërtijdperk' (dinosaur age).
- 'calorieverslindend' (calory devouring). We already have 'calorieverbrandend' (calory burning), and from what I gather from the article, the workout described is just a bit more effective in that than usual. But to invent a whole new word, just to say it's good ?
- 'gezondheidsvakantiegangers' (people who go on health holidays).
- 'wellnesshotels' (I doubt I need to translate this).
- 'ontstressingsbehandelingen' (de-stressing treatments).
- 'privé-oogziekenhuis' (private eye hospital). No, private eye is just a literal translation here, the Dutch combination does not mean detective. But the way this word is pieced together, it's like only your eyes are welcome for treatment in such a hospital - leave the rest of your body at the desk, please. And don't *use* your eyes during their stay here, what they might see is private after all !
- 'blubberbillen' (blubber butts).
- 'nieuwbouwcoach' (new building coach). What, this guy decides which construction guys to send into the construction of your new home, stands at the sidelines, shouts, switches, and cries frustratedly when the schedule isn't met ? Can't we just call him a foreman ? No wait, this is a services package for people who are stepping into the new building property market for the first time, to guide them.
- 'Euregionale' (Euregional - yes, that means 'European' and 'regional' pieced together).
- 'gezondheidsclaim' (health claim). "I am healthy." From the same article: 'probiotica', products with 'good' bacteria added to them.
- 'overnameprooi' (takeover prey). Wow, the world of multinationals really *must* be a jungle of dog eat dog and whatever other animal planet terms you can use here.
- 'ambtenarenactie' (civil servants action). We're talking protest action here, like say, a strike, before anyone starts making jokes about this being a paradox - civil servants doing anything ?? Ha ha ha ha.
- 'feta' (feta cheese). I nominated this because a court is close to ruling that only white, salt goats- or sheep-cheese from Greece is allowed to be called 'feta', thus possibly forcing Danish and German cheese manufacturors to come up with a new name for their own 'feta'...
- 'wijnleer' (wine education).
- 'homogeweld' (gay violence). Someone might get confused.. is this violence *by* gays ? Is this violence *amongst* gays ? Is this about violence being gay ? No, this is about violence *towards* gays...
- 'flatscreenschermen' (flat screen screens).
- 'hiphopproducer' (no need to translate this one).

And the Word of the Day for this date is: 'flatscreenschermen' !

Candidates for Thursday May 9:

- 'horrorvluchten' (horror flights).
- 'bonnetjesaffaire' (receipts affair). This is an afterwake article about the beforementioned tax affaire...
- 'tipnotering'. Don't ask, it's clearly a pop music list term, but I'm fairly sure it's new. Unless I've been really out of the loop.

And because I don't want to ignore the dumb Amsterdam tax 'scandal', the Word of the Day for this date is: 'bonnetjesaffaire' !

And now that I'm all caught up, this post has officially ended. In two more upcoming postings I'll pick the Word of the Day for Friday and Saturday, and the final Word of the Week. Then this little experiment is over, as described above. Hope you guys enjoyed the ride, and who knows, if I'm ever less busy with things that excite me, I might take this back up again.

I have a lot of work to do, plus some train travelling, tomorrow - Friday the thirteenth. Wish me luck. In any case, this long-ass post is finally at its end now.