Little Urbanus-reference for those of you who know the Belgian comedian. Anyway.
Today was an odd day because I actually ENJOYED it. Yes - especially considering the beating I took just the evening before by a certain age-old toxin that we humans like to use on a frequent basis - it's bizarre, but I had fun today. And it wasn't until some point in the afternoon that I suddenly figured out why. I found myself replying to a (female) client and suddenly realised that for about two or three emails we'd been flat-out FLIRTING. And then I thought about the rest of that day thusfar and realised I'd been flirting all over the place, and barely at any time at my own initiative. In fact, it didn't stop there, I had pleasant interactions with women straight until I got home. To make matters worse, on the Stripliefhebbers forum someone posted a link to the comics convention last Saturday in Zwolle where several of the young upcoming artists decided to get drunk - now, normally, this would interest me as well because after all, upcoming (young AND old) talent is what Probeersel.com is trying to make a stand for, so I'm always trying to find out who's out there that I missed. But this time Cecile 'Saiso' kinda caught my eye, which made me take a better look at what she and Jelena are doing at Saiso.nl. Their stuff's interesting - not particularly spectacular, but I think I'll keep my eye out for their first book which should come out later this year.
Anyway, besides that little plug, I just want to get to the point of my little story here (and then go to bed) which is that spring is definately here. Hormones are rushing again, people give each other the Spring looks that you simply don't see in Autumn and Winter, and good cheer's all around. Well - besides with the people suffering the beforementioned bigger problems in life. But who knows. Perhaps even they felt just a slight bit better today. I for one did. And I was due for that feeling because it's been a while.
And to procrastinate on going to bed, a bit more:
Troy Titane (I'll not reveal his real name for privacy's sake) sent in more comics to prepare for the launch of his new Dutch daily comic on Probeersel.com that starts April 1st. I've seen his stuff (obviously, since he mailed it to me to put on the site) and I'm excited. I think it's genius in its own odd sense of humour and in the drawings he does (which, the first month at least, will be two spirals. Period. I kid you not. I've also seen - since I talk to him in the Cul de Sac quite often - what he's also planning on doing soon and it'll be a great variation in drawings but with the same sense of humour to it.) and he's definately on to something quite unique here. The kind of stuff you'll either love or hate. I'm excited. Simple as that. Keep your eye out for it, April 1st.
And speaking of April (and Cul de Sac), April 1st, evening, Cul de Sac will celebrate its 5 year anniversary. People who've known me for a long time will now furrow their eyebrows, think for a moment, and probably say something along the lines of "only 5 years ? Surely it's been around longer than that !". Which is true. Except it was called the ZOAP back then. It changed its name, and kind of its identity (although most of that was restored rather quickly once clients and personnel decided to want nothing to do with it, in an attempt to get BOTH back) in April 1999. I know this because I was there when they closed it down for some remodeling n stuff, and when it reopened it was named Cul de Sac and even I had to get used to it for a bit. It's still the same great bar though, and from what I can tell it's probably going to be a great evening. So if you're in the neighbourhood that night, make your way over. Cul de Sac, Tilburg, the Netherlands. I'll most likely be there (unless for whatever reason I forget to go, which was the subject of my previous post).
I can tell you more stories but really, folks, my back will really thank me if I lay it to rest on my comfy mattress. I've got a potential new day fo flirting ahead of me in less than 5 hours, so I really should leave it at this. See ya !
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
To my friends !
Ok. I'm not actually feeling BAD anymore (although Sionnain's situation can still use a lot of improvement) but reality and I are still also not quite on optimal terms of agreement yet. I'm still sort of out of it all and I can tell that mostly in my organisational skills. The past years I've been reasonably reliable in keeping my appointments and keeping track of what I agreed upon and overview of what I'm supposed to do and when and stuff, and the past days I've been a mess in all those departments. I still get the job done (because, to the benefit of working together, we're using a system that makes it easy for a colleague to just take over what I was doing) but yeah.
So Brian emailed me on Monday and invited me along for a drink Tuesday evening. Without thinking too much about it, I agreed - initially I wanted to decline to be sure, since I'm currently finally putting good hard work into The Grim DotCom and kind of want to continue to do so, but I've declined his invitations about six times in a row or something by now so it was about time again that the ol' chap and I had a good chat to catch up on things.
Then Tuesday my kid brother calls me at work and turns out Tues night was the only night this week he'd be able to pick up my MP3 collection that he wants to have as well because he finally got an MP3 player now and likes several picks in my collection to start off his own collection with. So I agree, of course, and TRY to make an HONEST, SINCERE note of it in my head. 'Do not stay for the drink too long because at 9 30 your brother will show up at your house.'
So at some point in the middle of a lengthy conversation with Brian about the future plans of Probeersel.com I suddenly exclaim 'SHIT - what time is it ?!' to which he replies '10, why ?' and I ask to use his cell phone because 'I need to call someone who probably hates me now'.
It was ok though, my brother had apparently been talking with Viktor or whatever and I talked him through how to find the correct closet I keep my collection in, so it worked out, but it's FAR FROM POLITE and very unlike me to make an appointment and not keep it. So I'm sorry, brother, and I'll make it up to you sometime.
If it's any comfort, I didn't get home before midnight, the rocking of the train made the alcohol hit me BADLY and made me sick on the train (but not actually intoxicated at all, so I got to go to the bathroom and do the unpleasant vomiting without ANY of the fun of being drunk :/) and this entire morning has been a surreal string of not quite being able to believe I'm really awake and all this is happening. So if I actually wake up later, find out I overslept, rush to work and have to type this longass string of text AGAIN into this blog, I think I'll be pretty pissed off. Not that you'd know because if right now isn't real, you won't be reading this later on. Ok, that just got too weird and metaphysical even for me. I think I should just go drink some coffee now.
So Brian emailed me on Monday and invited me along for a drink Tuesday evening. Without thinking too much about it, I agreed - initially I wanted to decline to be sure, since I'm currently finally putting good hard work into The Grim DotCom and kind of want to continue to do so, but I've declined his invitations about six times in a row or something by now so it was about time again that the ol' chap and I had a good chat to catch up on things.
Then Tuesday my kid brother calls me at work and turns out Tues night was the only night this week he'd be able to pick up my MP3 collection that he wants to have as well because he finally got an MP3 player now and likes several picks in my collection to start off his own collection with. So I agree, of course, and TRY to make an HONEST, SINCERE note of it in my head. 'Do not stay for the drink too long because at 9 30 your brother will show up at your house.'
So at some point in the middle of a lengthy conversation with Brian about the future plans of Probeersel.com I suddenly exclaim 'SHIT - what time is it ?!' to which he replies '10, why ?' and I ask to use his cell phone because 'I need to call someone who probably hates me now'.
It was ok though, my brother had apparently been talking with Viktor or whatever and I talked him through how to find the correct closet I keep my collection in, so it worked out, but it's FAR FROM POLITE and very unlike me to make an appointment and not keep it. So I'm sorry, brother, and I'll make it up to you sometime.
If it's any comfort, I didn't get home before midnight, the rocking of the train made the alcohol hit me BADLY and made me sick on the train (but not actually intoxicated at all, so I got to go to the bathroom and do the unpleasant vomiting without ANY of the fun of being drunk :/) and this entire morning has been a surreal string of not quite being able to believe I'm really awake and all this is happening. So if I actually wake up later, find out I overslept, rush to work and have to type this longass string of text AGAIN into this blog, I think I'll be pretty pissed off. Not that you'd know because if right now isn't real, you won't be reading this later on. Ok, that just got too weird and metaphysical even for me. I think I should just go drink some coffee now.
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
o/~ What's this, what's THIS ?! o/~
Gotta make a little Tim Burton reference once in a while.
Anyway, Greg and I are playing around with Blogger a bit. Trying to set up a cooperative blog for Probeersel artists. It's coming along. If this little experiment - hehe, 'probeersel' - turns out to be a nice medium for posting ACTUAL news (Probeersel.com related, of course) I'll be sure to link to it from here. But first, I think we should play around more. And get more of the artists to publish there. There's nothing actually interesting on there yet so if you'll excuse me, I won't give you an URL yet.
I hope Sionnain's doing ok. She made a brief appearance today while I was at work (and so I missed her of course) but she updated her blog n stuff so I kinda know how she's doing. Considering the circumstances, she's seemingly in control. So I have better hope this'll work out one way or the other.
Not much else to report today. Well, one thing, but I'll save that for the Probeersel blog. HAHAHA - just teasin' ya. Really, today nothing interesting happened.
*Sighs* so nice for a change. Oh, except for that we got the bill for the annual municipal taxes. Yay... I did the quick math and figured out that I'd be pretty damn broke again this month. Until I discussed it with Viktor (who has to pay half, after all) and he responded 'but wait, can't you pay those taxes in installments ?' which sort of resulted in a 'DOH !' from me because I fell for that last year and paid the full amount rightaway. Not that I don't prefer that (I hate 'owing' money and almost ALWAYS pay the entire sum rightaway in any situation where I could have paid in installments), but this month won't be very convenient for 350 Euros to just fly right out of my wallet the minute they got in there. So, installments it is.
And I kept forgetting to blog this I think (unless my memory serves me very badly) but when I went to get new glasses the Saturday before last, the measured my eyesight and turns out my left eye improved. Not by much, but I thought it was good news nonetheless. I guess this blog deserved some of that by now. If you're all really good I might tell you the story about that someday. You know me, I can turn any event into a good yarn. Or yawn. You be the judge. But not today.
Anyway, Greg and I are playing around with Blogger a bit. Trying to set up a cooperative blog for Probeersel artists. It's coming along. If this little experiment - hehe, 'probeersel' - turns out to be a nice medium for posting ACTUAL news (Probeersel.com related, of course) I'll be sure to link to it from here. But first, I think we should play around more. And get more of the artists to publish there. There's nothing actually interesting on there yet so if you'll excuse me, I won't give you an URL yet.
I hope Sionnain's doing ok. She made a brief appearance today while I was at work (and so I missed her of course) but she updated her blog n stuff so I kinda know how she's doing. Considering the circumstances, she's seemingly in control. So I have better hope this'll work out one way or the other.
Not much else to report today. Well, one thing, but I'll save that for the Probeersel blog. HAHAHA - just teasin' ya. Really, today nothing interesting happened.
*Sighs* so nice for a change. Oh, except for that we got the bill for the annual municipal taxes. Yay... I did the quick math and figured out that I'd be pretty damn broke again this month. Until I discussed it with Viktor (who has to pay half, after all) and he responded 'but wait, can't you pay those taxes in installments ?' which sort of resulted in a 'DOH !' from me because I fell for that last year and paid the full amount rightaway. Not that I don't prefer that (I hate 'owing' money and almost ALWAYS pay the entire sum rightaway in any situation where I could have paid in installments), but this month won't be very convenient for 350 Euros to just fly right out of my wallet the minute they got in there. So, installments it is.
And I kept forgetting to blog this I think (unless my memory serves me very badly) but when I went to get new glasses the Saturday before last, the measured my eyesight and turns out my left eye improved. Not by much, but I thought it was good news nonetheless. I guess this blog deserved some of that by now. If you're all really good I might tell you the story about that someday. You know me, I can turn any event into a good yarn. Or yawn. You be the judge. But not today.
Sunday, March 21, 2004
Escapist Supreme.
*sighs*
I stayed in bed most of the day. Did a few necessary groceries n stuff but that's about it. And I managed to squeeze out two Worst Case Scenarios. But that really sums it up, pretty much.
Sionnain called. She's at a friend's place for now and is going to see about getting a place of her own somehow on Monday, through people at college. Somehow working a job to afford it all, and all that.
It got pretty scary right after my previous post. Her parents beat her and kept her in the house when she was about to leave after being told she was kicked out.. There was one very explosive fight from what I gathered, and I urged her to call the cops. I'm not a big fan of 'em, but some authority to step into a situation like that can usually at least clear the air enough not to result in more violence. At least there wasn't more of that. That's good.
So I was on strike today. I was that a lot when I was a kid. This world is nasty, ugly, mean, violent, wrong. There's beauty, but there's so much ugliness that does more than balance it out. Every once in a while I can't stand it anymore. I should have been named Escapsist Supreme or some name signifying that, not René. There's not much reborn about me. I spent most of my childhood daydreaming. Or reading. Or drawing. Anything that took me out of reality. I was on strike from reality most of the time.
I haven't been on strike in a while. Reality ended up sort of sucking me in. It was necessary.
The whole Probeersel thing. It's my attempt at introducing something good, something meaningful, something beautiful into this world. So many people with genuine talent out there, and nowhere to really publish. Sure, they can all get Geocities sites and be one name amongst gazillions. But I wanted a community for them, that cares, that promotes their work and all work that's there, that collaborates, supports, inspres. A growing family of talented people who all aim to make something nice for people to enjoy. To brighten up their day. To show them the wonders that comics can bring you. That they can make you think, make you go through completely new experiences, awe you, inspire you. That they are art.
Is that such a bad thing ? Why is it so damn hard to set this up ? Why can't developers or lawyers or ANYONE just jump in and offer to assist ? I'm not a coder. I have no idea what any legal issues arising could be, surrounding this initiative. I get so scared sometimes - somehow I've ended up the self-promoted leader of all this, and I'm doing the best I can, but the best is not good enough. We're still far from being out of the woods. And I sort of know what to do in the long run. But it's definately all nothing I've done before. I guess it's a silly thing, or something, in the eyes of the world. Because - besides my loyal staff - nobody's jumping in. And plenty of people think I'm insane for doing this. Even people who matter to me.
But so much keeps happening. Keeps going wrong. Bad things happening to people who don't deserve it. Even people on board of this Probeersel train. I wish I could protect them. They're all great artists and great people. And they're working together on this silly cause of mine.
What kind of world treats people who try to do good for others, this way ?
So I was on strike from reality. I didn't wish to take any part of it. Count me out, even if just for today. I've had enough shit to deal with for the past few months. All I've really ever wanted to do is make some comics. As things are, I'm without inspiration - simply because I don't feel like being funny right now. If my stuff ends up going on hiatus for a while, now you'll know why. I'll try to keep my responsibilities in those fields straight, but, well, here's a news flash.
I'm only human, too. Even I don't always realise that, but it's the flat out truth.
I stayed in bed most of the day. Did a few necessary groceries n stuff but that's about it. And I managed to squeeze out two Worst Case Scenarios. But that really sums it up, pretty much.
Sionnain called. She's at a friend's place for now and is going to see about getting a place of her own somehow on Monday, through people at college. Somehow working a job to afford it all, and all that.
It got pretty scary right after my previous post. Her parents beat her and kept her in the house when she was about to leave after being told she was kicked out.. There was one very explosive fight from what I gathered, and I urged her to call the cops. I'm not a big fan of 'em, but some authority to step into a situation like that can usually at least clear the air enough not to result in more violence. At least there wasn't more of that. That's good.
So I was on strike today. I was that a lot when I was a kid. This world is nasty, ugly, mean, violent, wrong. There's beauty, but there's so much ugliness that does more than balance it out. Every once in a while I can't stand it anymore. I should have been named Escapsist Supreme or some name signifying that, not René. There's not much reborn about me. I spent most of my childhood daydreaming. Or reading. Or drawing. Anything that took me out of reality. I was on strike from reality most of the time.
I haven't been on strike in a while. Reality ended up sort of sucking me in. It was necessary.
The whole Probeersel thing. It's my attempt at introducing something good, something meaningful, something beautiful into this world. So many people with genuine talent out there, and nowhere to really publish. Sure, they can all get Geocities sites and be one name amongst gazillions. But I wanted a community for them, that cares, that promotes their work and all work that's there, that collaborates, supports, inspres. A growing family of talented people who all aim to make something nice for people to enjoy. To brighten up their day. To show them the wonders that comics can bring you. That they can make you think, make you go through completely new experiences, awe you, inspire you. That they are art.
Is that such a bad thing ? Why is it so damn hard to set this up ? Why can't developers or lawyers or ANYONE just jump in and offer to assist ? I'm not a coder. I have no idea what any legal issues arising could be, surrounding this initiative. I get so scared sometimes - somehow I've ended up the self-promoted leader of all this, and I'm doing the best I can, but the best is not good enough. We're still far from being out of the woods. And I sort of know what to do in the long run. But it's definately all nothing I've done before. I guess it's a silly thing, or something, in the eyes of the world. Because - besides my loyal staff - nobody's jumping in. And plenty of people think I'm insane for doing this. Even people who matter to me.
But so much keeps happening. Keeps going wrong. Bad things happening to people who don't deserve it. Even people on board of this Probeersel train. I wish I could protect them. They're all great artists and great people. And they're working together on this silly cause of mine.
What kind of world treats people who try to do good for others, this way ?
So I was on strike from reality. I didn't wish to take any part of it. Count me out, even if just for today. I've had enough shit to deal with for the past few months. All I've really ever wanted to do is make some comics. As things are, I'm without inspiration - simply because I don't feel like being funny right now. If my stuff ends up going on hiatus for a while, now you'll know why. I'll try to keep my responsibilities in those fields straight, but, well, here's a news flash.
I'm only human, too. Even I don't always realise that, but it's the flat out truth.
Saturday, March 20, 2004
*Head swimming*
Woa... I'm being bombarded with bad stuff happening to people around me. It's getting really scary !!!!!
First there was Greg who is suffering from some kind of illness that the docs can't give him any answer on, let alone a cure. His body and mind are playing mean tricks on him and it sucks to see him this way. He's a pretty damn cool guy when you get to know him so he deserves a lot better than this crap.
Then there's a reasonably close colleague of mine.. 22 years old, and his parents and kid sister got killed in a car crash just last Monday. I can't even imagine how he must be feeling. The funeral is, well, hours from now. Just like that, bam, a huge chunk of your life, gone. I'm 25 and I don't consider myself too ridiculously fond of my parents, but I still couldn't imagine how that would be. It would chop away such a huge chunk of your life, out of nowhere. No chance to say goodbye or anything.. and he's actually CLOSE with his family, so it must be such a damn.. shock, to say the least. I don't think there's a word for such a feeling, which I suppose is a good thing.. but still.. damn..
And now Sionnain's gotten kicked out of her house. Just like that. She has nowhere to go and she has no clue what's going to happen to her. Can people just do that, just like that ? No notice, not even the slightest bit of help, just, wham, you don't live here anymore and we don't want to know you, have a good life, bye ? Holy crap... I hope things turn out ok fast.. because she has me worried as hell now..
Mom, dad.. I just want to take this post to say this. I'm not the closest to my family that there ever was, but I'm damn glad stuff like this never happened to me. You guys were always there for me when I needed you, which, I'm also glad to say, wasn't too often. I'm glad nothing scary like the stuff happening to Greg has hit me in life. I'm glad you guys never kicked me out and our fights were never severe enough to render me homeless. And I'm damn glad you guys are still here. Be careful with yourselves. I know you guys haven't lately understood much about what I'm trying to do with my life, the world, Probeersel.com, but I intend all this to turn out in a way that'll make you damn proud. And I'm careful with my own life in the process. And it's very comforting to know that - despite my constant care to prevent even getting CLOSE to that - if things were ever to go really wrong, you guys would be there for me. I wish parents like you for anyone, anyday.
Sionnain... be well. I hope things start working out better for you soon. Or that your family comes around after all. Because this is just madness. I also hope that if anyone reads this and can help out in any way, please, do. I'd help out myself but she's on the other side of the globe from me and I don't have any means to help in this situation. I would if I could - besides having a great talent for art, she's a great person and stuff like this shouldn't be happening to her.
Greg - I've told you this time and time again, but I hope stuff works out for you too, man.
And to my colleague.. I don't think you'll be online at all, and too much stuff will likely be coming your way right now to pay any attention to this lil' blog of mine, but I just want to write this anyway. I'm terribly sorry for your loss - everyone who knows about it is. I'm here for you if you need to talk or anything, and if you need help in any way, don't hesitate to ask.
I was planning on going to the funeral but all this news has REALLY worn me down now. I don't think I'm getting out of bed at all tomorrow. I don't want to be awake in a world like this.
Count your blessings folks. I for one have an unfair amount of them and if I'd believe in a higher power I'd pray it would stay that way.
First there was Greg who is suffering from some kind of illness that the docs can't give him any answer on, let alone a cure. His body and mind are playing mean tricks on him and it sucks to see him this way. He's a pretty damn cool guy when you get to know him so he deserves a lot better than this crap.
Then there's a reasonably close colleague of mine.. 22 years old, and his parents and kid sister got killed in a car crash just last Monday. I can't even imagine how he must be feeling. The funeral is, well, hours from now. Just like that, bam, a huge chunk of your life, gone. I'm 25 and I don't consider myself too ridiculously fond of my parents, but I still couldn't imagine how that would be. It would chop away such a huge chunk of your life, out of nowhere. No chance to say goodbye or anything.. and he's actually CLOSE with his family, so it must be such a damn.. shock, to say the least. I don't think there's a word for such a feeling, which I suppose is a good thing.. but still.. damn..
And now Sionnain's gotten kicked out of her house. Just like that. She has nowhere to go and she has no clue what's going to happen to her. Can people just do that, just like that ? No notice, not even the slightest bit of help, just, wham, you don't live here anymore and we don't want to know you, have a good life, bye ? Holy crap... I hope things turn out ok fast.. because she has me worried as hell now..
Mom, dad.. I just want to take this post to say this. I'm not the closest to my family that there ever was, but I'm damn glad stuff like this never happened to me. You guys were always there for me when I needed you, which, I'm also glad to say, wasn't too often. I'm glad nothing scary like the stuff happening to Greg has hit me in life. I'm glad you guys never kicked me out and our fights were never severe enough to render me homeless. And I'm damn glad you guys are still here. Be careful with yourselves. I know you guys haven't lately understood much about what I'm trying to do with my life, the world, Probeersel.com, but I intend all this to turn out in a way that'll make you damn proud. And I'm careful with my own life in the process. And it's very comforting to know that - despite my constant care to prevent even getting CLOSE to that - if things were ever to go really wrong, you guys would be there for me. I wish parents like you for anyone, anyday.
Sionnain... be well. I hope things start working out better for you soon. Or that your family comes around after all. Because this is just madness. I also hope that if anyone reads this and can help out in any way, please, do. I'd help out myself but she's on the other side of the globe from me and I don't have any means to help in this situation. I would if I could - besides having a great talent for art, she's a great person and stuff like this shouldn't be happening to her.
Greg - I've told you this time and time again, but I hope stuff works out for you too, man.
And to my colleague.. I don't think you'll be online at all, and too much stuff will likely be coming your way right now to pay any attention to this lil' blog of mine, but I just want to write this anyway. I'm terribly sorry for your loss - everyone who knows about it is. I'm here for you if you need to talk or anything, and if you need help in any way, don't hesitate to ask.
I was planning on going to the funeral but all this news has REALLY worn me down now. I don't think I'm getting out of bed at all tomorrow. I don't want to be awake in a world like this.
Count your blessings folks. I for one have an unfair amount of them and if I'd believe in a higher power I'd pray it would stay that way.
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