Escapist Supreme.

*sighs*

I stayed in bed most of the day. Did a few necessary groceries n stuff but that's about it. And I managed to squeeze out two Worst Case Scenarios. But that really sums it up, pretty much.

Sionnain called. She's at a friend's place for now and is going to see about getting a place of her own somehow on Monday, through people at college. Somehow working a job to afford it all, and all that.
It got pretty scary right after my previous post. Her parents beat her and kept her in the house when she was about to leave after being told she was kicked out.. There was one very explosive fight from what I gathered, and I urged her to call the cops. I'm not a big fan of 'em, but some authority to step into a situation like that can usually at least clear the air enough not to result in more violence. At least there wasn't more of that. That's good.

So I was on strike today. I was that a lot when I was a kid. This world is nasty, ugly, mean, violent, wrong. There's beauty, but there's so much ugliness that does more than balance it out. Every once in a while I can't stand it anymore. I should have been named Escapsist Supreme or some name signifying that, not René. There's not much reborn about me. I spent most of my childhood daydreaming. Or reading. Or drawing. Anything that took me out of reality. I was on strike from reality most of the time.
I haven't been on strike in a while. Reality ended up sort of sucking me in. It was necessary.
The whole Probeersel thing. It's my attempt at introducing something good, something meaningful, something beautiful into this world. So many people with genuine talent out there, and nowhere to really publish. Sure, they can all get Geocities sites and be one name amongst gazillions. But I wanted a community for them, that cares, that promotes their work and all work that's there, that collaborates, supports, inspres. A growing family of talented people who all aim to make something nice for people to enjoy. To brighten up their day. To show them the wonders that comics can bring you. That they can make you think, make you go through completely new experiences, awe you, inspire you. That they are art.
Is that such a bad thing ? Why is it so damn hard to set this up ? Why can't developers or lawyers or ANYONE just jump in and offer to assist ? I'm not a coder. I have no idea what any legal issues arising could be, surrounding this initiative. I get so scared sometimes - somehow I've ended up the self-promoted leader of all this, and I'm doing the best I can, but the best is not good enough. We're still far from being out of the woods. And I sort of know what to do in the long run. But it's definately all nothing I've done before. I guess it's a silly thing, or something, in the eyes of the world. Because - besides my loyal staff - nobody's jumping in. And plenty of people think I'm insane for doing this. Even people who matter to me.
But so much keeps happening. Keeps going wrong. Bad things happening to people who don't deserve it. Even people on board of this Probeersel train. I wish I could protect them. They're all great artists and great people. And they're working together on this silly cause of mine.
What kind of world treats people who try to do good for others, this way ?

So I was on strike from reality. I didn't wish to take any part of it. Count me out, even if just for today. I've had enough shit to deal with for the past few months. All I've really ever wanted to do is make some comics. As things are, I'm without inspiration - simply because I don't feel like being funny right now. If my stuff ends up going on hiatus for a while, now you'll know why. I'll try to keep my responsibilities in those fields straight, but, well, here's a news flash.
I'm only human, too. Even I don't always realise that, but it's the flat out truth.