Thursday, August 12, 2004

I don't even know what to put here.

Me, me, me, blah blah blah.

Yes, I'm gonna whine. Everyone seems to expect me to hold up under everything I'm put through, and to do so I really need to vent from time to time.

I really would handle everything a lot better right now if there wasn't so much crap going on. Greg's illness just goes on and on without the Medics offering any improvement, and now Sionnain has a tumor on top of her other trouble.
Work is insane but mostly because so many big problems just linger on and on and I'm caught in the middle relying on other people to fix them, who, of course, don't. Yay.
The weather isn't helping, this'll be the umteenth night in a row that I won't get any decent sleep because of the heat. Also the deadline is creeping closer to get everything arranged about the switch to another job within the company and.. I dunno. Things aren't exactly CERTAIN yet and if I screw this up, opportunity's probably gone.

I dunno. I just wish everything was fixed. Or that I was left alone for a while. To sleep. Or rest, at least. Perhaps even get some time to have a bit of fun. I tasted some fun last weekend and I want more.

I just want to be rid of feeling rushed. And lonely. And tired.
I want to feel good again. My heart's not into things. I'm slacking on the Grim DotCom work to the absolute minimum, I'm feeling a growing hate towards the daily Worst Case Scenario, the fun things happening to me feel really bland, I act less and less responsible and professional at work, and I don't feel passionate about everything anymore. If anything screams 'René needs a break', I think it's all of the above together.

Then again, perhaps just a good night's sleep would help as well.

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