So on Monday night I went to bed at 2 - which was later than I actually planned on but still semi-early for me. I was completely intending to fall asleep. You know, actually GET some sleep. Since I heard good things about that. So I lay there and pop, an idea for a Grim DotCom page jumps up inside my head.
Ignore it, I think ambitiously. Go to sleep.
That's not how it works however - by 2 30 the idea had grown out to a fully-fledged storyboard and was banging on the inside of my skull "Let me out ! Let me out of here ! Write me down !"
2 40. I'm exhausted from trying to fall asleep, I click on the light and write the damn thing down - it's a Star Trek kinda parody and I'll admit the idea also made me chuckle a bit after I scribbled the storyboard. But it was the middle of the damn night so I click off the light again and desperately try to sleep.
I only just barely don't oversleep on Tuesday morning, then follows a working day, and of course I sleep soundly on the train rides back and forth to Amsterdam. I get home at 8, take a deeeeeeep breath, and ready the drawing table. In 3 hours time, I draw the necessary images for the page on A3. Then I scan, edit, colour, shrink down, balloon and letter the bunch and at 1 30 I've got the damn page online. Less than 24 hours after conceiving.
But, you know, when you're doing something involving a cult series like Star Trek, it's just like when you use religious elements: people will bitch and moan about it. So I decide to keep a little pre-screening amongst a few trekkies I know online who happened to be up, and yes: they immediately suggest changing the uniform colours.
Which is a lot of work because for that I basically have to get back to the colour part of the process (see the little summary above) and then reshrink the panels to exactly the same size again - but, at around 2, all's good and well and online.
I marvel at the page for another while whilst I enjoy a well-deserved drink. At 3, I finally make the wise decision to crawl under the covers.
Needless to say, I overslept this morning. All thanks to a cult series from the 70ies and a grim reaper. The episode I'm talking about should be visible on Probeersel.com in a few weeks, so keep yer eye out for it.
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Sad To See Him Go.
Just finished the final Grim DotCom page that features everyone's favourite antichrist. This is also the last storyboard I had ready - I'm gonna have to need to cram down another intermission episode and then the story will continue again into the final section of this storyline, the last set of the disaster unleashed by the crew's night out.
Things are going to change after that.. The Grim DotCom will never quite be the same again.
Ironically, I'm going through some major changes as well, also job-related. So these storyline developments are oddly close to home. I will go into further detail in later postings. Much, much later postings. Once I get more clarity and certainty where everything's going. But it appears a lot will change and I will, regardless of the outcome, miss the way things used to be. A lot.
Just like I'll miss the Hellboss. But who knows, if the fans indicate they liked his presence, he may reappear in later storylines. Or just get a guest star role in one of the episodes. And besides, he'll be back in a different form - he'll look and behave mostly the same, except the drawing style won't be that of The Grim DotCom.
So more to come. Once I have time. And everything's taken care of.
Probeersel.com's also facing some impending major changes. Also not anytime soon, but they're pretty much inevitable. And if I get my way, it'll grow into something very spectacular.
Now how's THAT for a mysterious post and for 'leaving them wanting more' ?!
Things are going to change after that.. The Grim DotCom will never quite be the same again.
Ironically, I'm going through some major changes as well, also job-related. So these storyline developments are oddly close to home. I will go into further detail in later postings. Much, much later postings. Once I get more clarity and certainty where everything's going. But it appears a lot will change and I will, regardless of the outcome, miss the way things used to be. A lot.
Just like I'll miss the Hellboss. But who knows, if the fans indicate they liked his presence, he may reappear in later storylines. Or just get a guest star role in one of the episodes. And besides, he'll be back in a different form - he'll look and behave mostly the same, except the drawing style won't be that of The Grim DotCom.
So more to come. Once I have time. And everything's taken care of.
Probeersel.com's also facing some impending major changes. Also not anytime soon, but they're pretty much inevitable. And if I get my way, it'll grow into something very spectacular.
Now how's THAT for a mysterious post and for 'leaving them wanting more' ?!
Friday, June 25, 2004
Even public information should have a level of privacy, y'know.
"Hellboy" was pretty damn cool. Working day went ok-ish otherwise. There's some new stuff going on that I might get into in later posts sometime soon but not now. In any case, I'm exhausted. So I slept in some 12 hours and it still wasn't enough. But lots to do, what can I say ? So I've been pretty much busy with the weekly shoppings and whatnot until I made it home for a little break just when Vik came home. We popped in the Shrek DVD to watch and then my parents visited.
And about that: Everytime they come over they crack jokes or make comments on stuff they've read on here. It makes me want to not write here anymore. In case they don't understand, my life's been much, much easier everytime they didn't know what was going on in it. When I was alone in my decisions and ponderings and everything. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's easier than when they meddle with it. My dad can be a cynical asshole who makes tactless jokes about anything inappropriate and my mom always takes everything too serious and heavily. In other words, neither of the two usually is much help to me.
So folks, if you're reading this - and I know you are, or at least you will - please don't bring it up. Or bring anything you read here up anymore. I'm not writing it for you: it's my BLOG. My JOURNAL. My private stuff that, although I'm publishing it publically, I just want to write down and get it out of my system. To do that, I need to feel I can write whatever I want. Not what I think my parents would want to read. Or what I should write to avoid conversation about it.
Ok, that's it again for me today. I'm either going to continue work on The Grim DotCom now or sleep. It's a waste of the evening either way because Viktor's gone to Marieke's party in Delft which means I have the house to myself, but who am I kidding ? I'm so tired that I get a headache just with the thought of having a one-night stand let alone with the thought of having to go out and get myself one. The only nice part would be waking up next to someone and well, it's not worth the rest of the bother. So, wonderful world of webcomics backstashes, here I come.
And about that: Everytime they come over they crack jokes or make comments on stuff they've read on here. It makes me want to not write here anymore. In case they don't understand, my life's been much, much easier everytime they didn't know what was going on in it. When I was alone in my decisions and ponderings and everything. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's easier than when they meddle with it. My dad can be a cynical asshole who makes tactless jokes about anything inappropriate and my mom always takes everything too serious and heavily. In other words, neither of the two usually is much help to me.
So folks, if you're reading this - and I know you are, or at least you will - please don't bring it up. Or bring anything you read here up anymore. I'm not writing it for you: it's my BLOG. My JOURNAL. My private stuff that, although I'm publishing it publically, I just want to write down and get it out of my system. To do that, I need to feel I can write whatever I want. Not what I think my parents would want to read. Or what I should write to avoid conversation about it.
Ok, that's it again for me today. I'm either going to continue work on The Grim DotCom now or sleep. It's a waste of the evening either way because Viktor's gone to Marieke's party in Delft which means I have the house to myself, but who am I kidding ? I'm so tired that I get a headache just with the thought of having a one-night stand let alone with the thought of having to go out and get myself one. The only nice part would be waking up next to someone and well, it's not worth the rest of the bother. So, wonderful world of webcomics backstashes, here I come.
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
I was half planning to call in sick tomorrow.
I've been drop dead tired the past few days, more than in any of the recent months. Yesterday I went straight to bed at 9 - with a brief waking up because my mom called - and slept straight through until after the alarm clock went off, and even beyond that. Hurriedly got to work at the usual time, and slept both on the way to and the way back from work. And I'm tired again now but I had some daily comics to take care of first.
I haven't really been feeling too well either, on top of not being too cheerful (see previous posts). A few people have showed concern, amongst whom one of Probeersel.com's excellent comic artists, Bandirah, and that sort of helps. But the idea of living in a cave somewhere distant for a decade or so still holds great appeal to me right now.
At work things haven't been terribly great either, everyone's concerned with the organisational changes that may very well end up erasing our department's core products and approach, which before were sort of the pride and joy of the company. But that's mostly speculation (with a healthy dose of realistic expectations) so who knows, none of it may happen. We've been officially told otherwise with only a few hints of bad news to come. At least the head of the department we're getting shoved under claims to be open and honest and didn't seem to contradict himself. He doesn't seem to be a bad guy and he claims there's no hidden agendas in this move, so we'll have to wait and see. On the other hand, as I told a colleague, it's just a job and daily matters certainly are a lot more important.
We're also being moved to another floor tomorrow so that'll produce an interesting work day...
Then there are some projects going terribly awry as well as some of our applications which suffered some major crises the past few days - add all the beforementioned up and you can imagine that I half planned to call in sick tomorrow. Especially since I don't feel too well anyway. However, just this evening I got an email saying the little contest I applied for won me tickets to the preview of Hellboy, which won't officially premiere till late this year in this country. I want to go - but it's the middle of the (working) day, tomorrow. And I probably will get back in the office around the time the move starts. Annnnd will likely somehow have to compensate the hours missed, and you know me, I hate owing anyone anything so I'll probably compensate them at the end of the day. I'm gonna be home so damn late tomorrow it won't be funny, I just know it.
So there's some good news: I get to see Hellboy - and it's a welcome break from the working day. But don't expect me to cheer up about anything else anytime soon :/
I haven't really been feeling too well either, on top of not being too cheerful (see previous posts). A few people have showed concern, amongst whom one of Probeersel.com's excellent comic artists, Bandirah, and that sort of helps. But the idea of living in a cave somewhere distant for a decade or so still holds great appeal to me right now.
At work things haven't been terribly great either, everyone's concerned with the organisational changes that may very well end up erasing our department's core products and approach, which before were sort of the pride and joy of the company. But that's mostly speculation (with a healthy dose of realistic expectations) so who knows, none of it may happen. We've been officially told otherwise with only a few hints of bad news to come. At least the head of the department we're getting shoved under claims to be open and honest and didn't seem to contradict himself. He doesn't seem to be a bad guy and he claims there's no hidden agendas in this move, so we'll have to wait and see. On the other hand, as I told a colleague, it's just a job and daily matters certainly are a lot more important.
We're also being moved to another floor tomorrow so that'll produce an interesting work day...
Then there are some projects going terribly awry as well as some of our applications which suffered some major crises the past few days - add all the beforementioned up and you can imagine that I half planned to call in sick tomorrow. Especially since I don't feel too well anyway. However, just this evening I got an email saying the little contest I applied for won me tickets to the preview of Hellboy, which won't officially premiere till late this year in this country. I want to go - but it's the middle of the (working) day, tomorrow. And I probably will get back in the office around the time the move starts. Annnnd will likely somehow have to compensate the hours missed, and you know me, I hate owing anyone anything so I'll probably compensate them at the end of the day. I'm gonna be home so damn late tomorrow it won't be funny, I just know it.
So there's some good news: I get to see Hellboy - and it's a welcome break from the working day. But don't expect me to cheer up about anything else anytime soon :/
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Just call me Holden Caulfield. Or something.
I am having one of those 'blah' days. The kind where you know something's terribly wrong but you haven't the foggiest clue what it could be. Right now I mostly feel sick of humankind. Especially the moneygrabbing Western world. I have no naive illusions that the people in 'other' cultures (how many countries are left without McDonalds ?) in this world aren't all following their own agenda and that survival of the fittest isn't fairly universal in society, but still. It makes me sick to the stomach. It makes me sick that for money I have to pretend to think our department's product is a good one. It's a crap product and it works shitty. The only reason it's supposed to be ok is because the other competing products within my company are also crap products and work shitty. And that only makes me feel sicker. And that I have to treat people the way I wouldn't want to be treated, myself, just because it's our policy and shit. I feel sick because what am I doing it for ? For some numbers on my bank account.
I'm sick of the people who always pull arguments out of their asses like that you have to be realistic and that money makes the world go round and you can't survive without it. Don't get me wrong, I have more than I can spend, so this is not one of those rants 'poor people' get on. I have loads of something that I really don't want. I just went to grab some quick lunch outside and I felt nauseous standing in line with people anxious to give their money to people anxious to take it from them. I had a coin in my hand and I felt like throwing it at them. Felt like taking out a shitload of cash and just throwing it at people. Then immediately felt sick because I could picture them, not getting offended but scrambling to grab it all. Society really disgusts me.
Even the comic artists I've been talking with the past few days have turned nasty in my eyes. It's all money. You're only a pro when you make money. Webcomics are shit because people can't make their money with them. After all, you have to be realistic. You need to be able to buy your food. Then an anekdote about R.K. Milholland from Something Positive who made a shitload of money simply by asking people to send it to him so he could do webcomics all the time. Now he has a (probably sarcastic but still) banner up telling people to send him more money so he can go buy a mercedes. Which I know will only run for a few years until we've all exhausted the world's supply of gas and oil. What do you think the whole Irak war is about ?
I also get sick when thinking of changing my job. I don't want to get an intake or application interview somewhere else. I don't want the stupid conversations about how much I want to earn. Capitalism makes me sick to the stomach. Always has and always will, with only momentary pauses where I can fool myself to believe it is a good system. It's sick and it makes people turn into monsters. With ties on. And suits. And brand name sunglasses. And lines under their eyes from not getting any sleep because they even work at home to pay for that expensive trip or that second mortgage.
I just want to make nice things. Or help people. And lie in the sun. Or sleep. Or talk with people. All the rest I really wish I wouldn't need. I dunno. Perhaps I'm just tired and need a long while of being around as few people as I can.
I'm sick of the people who always pull arguments out of their asses like that you have to be realistic and that money makes the world go round and you can't survive without it. Don't get me wrong, I have more than I can spend, so this is not one of those rants 'poor people' get on. I have loads of something that I really don't want. I just went to grab some quick lunch outside and I felt nauseous standing in line with people anxious to give their money to people anxious to take it from them. I had a coin in my hand and I felt like throwing it at them. Felt like taking out a shitload of cash and just throwing it at people. Then immediately felt sick because I could picture them, not getting offended but scrambling to grab it all. Society really disgusts me.
Even the comic artists I've been talking with the past few days have turned nasty in my eyes. It's all money. You're only a pro when you make money. Webcomics are shit because people can't make their money with them. After all, you have to be realistic. You need to be able to buy your food. Then an anekdote about R.K. Milholland from Something Positive who made a shitload of money simply by asking people to send it to him so he could do webcomics all the time. Now he has a (probably sarcastic but still) banner up telling people to send him more money so he can go buy a mercedes. Which I know will only run for a few years until we've all exhausted the world's supply of gas and oil. What do you think the whole Irak war is about ?
I also get sick when thinking of changing my job. I don't want to get an intake or application interview somewhere else. I don't want the stupid conversations about how much I want to earn. Capitalism makes me sick to the stomach. Always has and always will, with only momentary pauses where I can fool myself to believe it is a good system. It's sick and it makes people turn into monsters. With ties on. And suits. And brand name sunglasses. And lines under their eyes from not getting any sleep because they even work at home to pay for that expensive trip or that second mortgage.
I just want to make nice things. Or help people. And lie in the sun. Or sleep. Or talk with people. All the rest I really wish I wouldn't need. I dunno. Perhaps I'm just tired and need a long while of being around as few people as I can.
Luxury Problems.
I'm trying to play catch-up with The Grim DotCom. It's not going too fast but it's coming along, I suppose. At least I still have my right arm instead of getting gangrene in it during a war or something.
I'm lonely but fuck it, there are people appreciating me and/or my work and even actual friends in my life, and I have more important things to do anyway. Besides, at least I'm not the last survivor after a nuclear blast or anything.
I have too many vacation days left to probably be able to take up this year. I've been working nearly non-stop if you don't count the 4-day trip to Stockholm and the being ill. The kinds of projects I'm assigned to will make it very difficult to actually SPEND the time off somehow. But screw that, at least I'm not OFFICIALLY performing slave labour. Instead I'm merely wasting my life and creativity away in corporate culture.
I haven't slept in ages. But hey, at least I have a bed to lay awake in and a ceiling to stare at. Besides, the cats are good company while they ARE asleep next to me.
I travel halfway across the country four days a week. But hey, at least I don't have to walk a gazillion kilometers just to get a bit of water in the desert.
I'm getting frustrated in my job because I don't know what I want - as always - but do get the feeling I want things to change. Just have no idea how. But at least I have a job and a pretty damn decent income. I'm not lying in the gutters without legs and with fleas all over me.
Gimme a break. I'm trying not to be depressed.
I'm lonely but fuck it, there are people appreciating me and/or my work and even actual friends in my life, and I have more important things to do anyway. Besides, at least I'm not the last survivor after a nuclear blast or anything.
I have too many vacation days left to probably be able to take up this year. I've been working nearly non-stop if you don't count the 4-day trip to Stockholm and the being ill. The kinds of projects I'm assigned to will make it very difficult to actually SPEND the time off somehow. But screw that, at least I'm not OFFICIALLY performing slave labour. Instead I'm merely wasting my life and creativity away in corporate culture.
I haven't slept in ages. But hey, at least I have a bed to lay awake in and a ceiling to stare at. Besides, the cats are good company while they ARE asleep next to me.
I travel halfway across the country four days a week. But hey, at least I don't have to walk a gazillion kilometers just to get a bit of water in the desert.
I'm getting frustrated in my job because I don't know what I want - as always - but do get the feeling I want things to change. Just have no idea how. But at least I have a job and a pretty damn decent income. I'm not lying in the gutters without legs and with fleas all over me.
Gimme a break. I'm trying not to be depressed.
Sunday, June 20, 2004
The Importance Of Being Lonely
I've been going kinda nuts lately. This whole lifestyle without a relationship that I chose has the obvious result that I'm very lonely - my 'work' (everything involving Probeersel) doesn't make it easier, since barely any of it can be REALLY shared with other people.
And lately I'm kind of suffering it. I mean, never underestimate how great it is to wake up with someone in your arms, or to have someone around who knows you and who is there for you if you need her. And then there's the intimacy and sex, of course, but it's really the loneliness itself that's bugging me the most.
The long time of being alone also has resulted in me not really enjoying being around large bulks of people anymore, like in bars, on the comic convention I went to recently, etcetera. And the longer I'm alone, the more critical I'm becoming of women in terms of wether or not I'd be interested in even talking with them at all.
Today I've been considering the alternative. There *are* hordes upon hordes of terrible women, especially in this country, and I wouldn't want to bother with any of them. I really wouldn't. I'd hate myself for having wasted my time. *shudder*
And then there's the next risk: babies. God damn friggin' babies. They all want 'em - well, most. And I can't stand babies. Even besides that, I don't think continuing my set of genes is a smart thing to do.
And most importantly, I need the loneliness to be able to devote myself to my art. So yes, I'm terribly lonely, and yes, I'm cracking, but when I consider the alternative... I think I'm still better off.
Now all the social gatherings and all other obligations are pretty much done with for a while again, so it's time to work on The Grim DotCom now. the backstash won't last long anymore, so I better get my shit together and start drawing.
And lately I'm kind of suffering it. I mean, never underestimate how great it is to wake up with someone in your arms, or to have someone around who knows you and who is there for you if you need her. And then there's the intimacy and sex, of course, but it's really the loneliness itself that's bugging me the most.
The long time of being alone also has resulted in me not really enjoying being around large bulks of people anymore, like in bars, on the comic convention I went to recently, etcetera. And the longer I'm alone, the more critical I'm becoming of women in terms of wether or not I'd be interested in even talking with them at all.
Today I've been considering the alternative. There *are* hordes upon hordes of terrible women, especially in this country, and I wouldn't want to bother with any of them. I really wouldn't. I'd hate myself for having wasted my time. *shudder*
And then there's the next risk: babies. God damn friggin' babies. They all want 'em - well, most. And I can't stand babies. Even besides that, I don't think continuing my set of genes is a smart thing to do.
And most importantly, I need the loneliness to be able to devote myself to my art. So yes, I'm terribly lonely, and yes, I'm cracking, but when I consider the alternative... I think I'm still better off.
Now all the social gatherings and all other obligations are pretty much done with for a while again, so it's time to work on The Grim DotCom now. the backstash won't last long anymore, so I better get my shit together and start drawing.
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Title Expiration Date: Yesterday.
I'm feeling a bit down. Or lonely, I suppose.
You may recall that a while back I discussed the NOT appearing in stores of the Coupling series 3 DVD. I can't be bothered to look up the permalink now so just browse through the archives if you want to read more. In any case, it was there today - just arrived yesterday, I was told, and it was the only copy they had so tough luck to any other Coupling fans shopping around the Amsterdam Bijlmer area, haha - and I watched it tonight. Afterwards - and I have to admit I drank a bit while watching it.. yes, on a mid-week evening and yes, I have to work tomorrow.. sod it, I can do my job with my hands tied behind my back, and still leave most of the office miles behind me on specific knowledge - I cracked a little joke on a forum about how watching all those relationship troubles got me down a bit and how one-night-stands with comics groupies aren't all it's worked up to be. But it's true.. after watching the DVD, I felt incredibly lonely. It's feelgood material, but only for those in love or in a relationship.
I, on the other hand, am a fully overbooked comic artist slash webmaster slash 23-hour-job employee slash someone with slight traces of a social life. I run a comic that take me full-time attention and I very occasionally jump in when other Probeersel artists lack backstash for whatever reason (one jump-in action is also full-time by now). I have no time for a relationship and a few years ago, when my last one ended, I chose never to get into one again. I've maintained that belief and I still stand by it, don't get me wrong.
But I've mentioned before, there's a special someone whom I can't seem to get out of my system. I'm fine otherwise, but she popped back into my head tonight. So now I'm tired and lonely and blah. It's a 6+ years curse, and I am starting to doubt I'll ever get rid of it. Or her. And I can never have her - even if my own life and ambitions permitted it. And she doesn't know, so I bear the misery all by myself.
*sighs*
I think I should probably go to bed for those few hours that remain me until I have to drag my sorry old carcass back to work again.
One bit of good news though: I finished the Grim DotCom page I've been working on for three weeks now. And it's looking SPECTACULAR. And I don't often say that about the series. So keep your eyes open for that - it should appear Sunday after next, on Probeersel.com.
So I earned this depressing evening off, fair and square. More Grim DotCom material coming, no doubt, later this week. After all, who needs sleep, or a cure for loneliness for that matter ?
You may recall that a while back I discussed the NOT appearing in stores of the Coupling series 3 DVD. I can't be bothered to look up the permalink now so just browse through the archives if you want to read more. In any case, it was there today - just arrived yesterday, I was told, and it was the only copy they had so tough luck to any other Coupling fans shopping around the Amsterdam Bijlmer area, haha - and I watched it tonight. Afterwards - and I have to admit I drank a bit while watching it.. yes, on a mid-week evening and yes, I have to work tomorrow.. sod it, I can do my job with my hands tied behind my back, and still leave most of the office miles behind me on specific knowledge - I cracked a little joke on a forum about how watching all those relationship troubles got me down a bit and how one-night-stands with comics groupies aren't all it's worked up to be. But it's true.. after watching the DVD, I felt incredibly lonely. It's feelgood material, but only for those in love or in a relationship.
I, on the other hand, am a fully overbooked comic artist slash webmaster slash 23-hour-job employee slash someone with slight traces of a social life. I run a comic that take me full-time attention and I very occasionally jump in when other Probeersel artists lack backstash for whatever reason (one jump-in action is also full-time by now). I have no time for a relationship and a few years ago, when my last one ended, I chose never to get into one again. I've maintained that belief and I still stand by it, don't get me wrong.
But I've mentioned before, there's a special someone whom I can't seem to get out of my system. I'm fine otherwise, but she popped back into my head tonight. So now I'm tired and lonely and blah. It's a 6+ years curse, and I am starting to doubt I'll ever get rid of it. Or her. And I can never have her - even if my own life and ambitions permitted it. And she doesn't know, so I bear the misery all by myself.
*sighs*
I think I should probably go to bed for those few hours that remain me until I have to drag my sorry old carcass back to work again.
One bit of good news though: I finished the Grim DotCom page I've been working on for three weeks now. And it's looking SPECTACULAR. And I don't often say that about the series. So keep your eyes open for that - it should appear Sunday after next, on Probeersel.com.
So I earned this depressing evening off, fair and square. More Grim DotCom material coming, no doubt, later this week. After all, who needs sleep, or a cure for loneliness for that matter ?
Monday, June 14, 2004
About To Pop - And Other Problems.
I've gone through the cycle again: I've allowed my libido to build up more and more, thus resulting in more creativity, which actually even resulted in several storyboards for The Grim DotCom (so the dreary work of actually drawing etc. them can now commence) but with the heat, my being rather tired lately, and constantly having to see scantily clad women in bright sunlight everywhere my head turns, I'm going to have to release the energy again soon. I haven't really denied myself anything, so to speak, but I need some really good release - plenty of it, and soon.
So I've gotten cocky (no pun intended) and a bit flirty with some of my closer female IRL friends, of course rather deliberately with the opposite result. Their friendships are worth more than to be ruined by these urges, so I'll have to find another way. But flirting sort of keeps the lid on it all for now, so you'll have to excuse me if you've fallen victim to this playful behaviour. It'll pass again, soon, one way or another.
Anyway, I'll be doing some nice work on The Grim DotCom sometime soon I expect, and I can't wait to see how it'll look.
Meanwhile, Worst Case Scenario gets some nice exposure this week, since it's got a FarScape theme going. Wish I could say the same for Troy Titane's RexRex which is currently on the front page, but Troy's kind of late with sending new material in. Bandirah and I are compensating with a few guest episodes, which I suppose is fun. Still, I can't wait to see some new original Troy material soon - the guy's a genius if you want my opinion.
And in other news, I lost my little pocket phone booklet and my prescription sunglasses over the course of the weekend. The sunglasses turned up in the Cul de Sac, as I sort of expected, and I'm not too worried about the booklet, because one, I've got a copy (I learned from last New Year's Eve), two, it's not exactly expensive or immensely time-consuming to recreate a copy of that, nor to buy some new phone cards (which it contained), track back when my next dentist appointment is (which is inside as well), and three, of the two items I originally lost, that one's the most likely to turn up by itself at some point since it has my address and phone number in it, of course.
The weather's too nice and I'm too, well, horny, to care. It's good to be me.
So I've gotten cocky (no pun intended) and a bit flirty with some of my closer female IRL friends, of course rather deliberately with the opposite result. Their friendships are worth more than to be ruined by these urges, so I'll have to find another way. But flirting sort of keeps the lid on it all for now, so you'll have to excuse me if you've fallen victim to this playful behaviour. It'll pass again, soon, one way or another.
Anyway, I'll be doing some nice work on The Grim DotCom sometime soon I expect, and I can't wait to see how it'll look.
Meanwhile, Worst Case Scenario gets some nice exposure this week, since it's got a FarScape theme going. Wish I could say the same for Troy Titane's RexRex which is currently on the front page, but Troy's kind of late with sending new material in. Bandirah and I are compensating with a few guest episodes, which I suppose is fun. Still, I can't wait to see some new original Troy material soon - the guy's a genius if you want my opinion.
And in other news, I lost my little pocket phone booklet and my prescription sunglasses over the course of the weekend. The sunglasses turned up in the Cul de Sac, as I sort of expected, and I'm not too worried about the booklet, because one, I've got a copy (I learned from last New Year's Eve), two, it's not exactly expensive or immensely time-consuming to recreate a copy of that, nor to buy some new phone cards (which it contained), track back when my next dentist appointment is (which is inside as well), and three, of the two items I originally lost, that one's the most likely to turn up by itself at some point since it has my address and phone number in it, of course.
The weather's too nice and I'm too, well, horny, to care. It's good to be me.
Friday, June 11, 2004
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee -kend.
You know how kids can get really annoying and start to nag when they get tired ? Or that they start breaking stuff, or pester people, etc. ? Well, I'm about the least-anxious-to-mature person I know, so I'm also EXACTLY like that. And considering the fact that I haven't slept well since I got ill (with the Haarlem event in between and right after that, the really hot nights) you can imagine I've been uttering some random weirdness wherever I could. Mostly focussed on the forum of the StripSter site. For instance, for some reason - unclear to me as well - I chose to portray myself as a smurf on there, and this started leading its own life with the people there. Also, I started posting as 'Pak Bloem' ('Bag of Flower') who's supposed to be this very anti-René person. It's all in good, clean fun, really, and it entertains me while I lack sleep, but all these things are getting out of hand. Why is that ?? Make a comic about sausages, and it's all people notice. Pretend you're a smurf, invent some other person who's raging a war against you, etc. and people keep bringing it up. It's interesting - can't wait how big a life of their own these random creations o'mine will take on.
European Elections were today. I voted. I share the apathy and total lack of care about Europe that the rest of Holland seems to have, but it just seems wrong to waste a vote. Not voting really isn't a protest when you think about it. Fact is, there's a Europe to be run, and here was your chance - which comes round only once every five years it seems - to have a teeny tiny say in how it's run, and it REALLY doesn't take so damn much of your time, so for god's sake, vote, people.
Ahwell.
Weekend. Lots to do. And tomorrow night I'm supposed to go out with drinking buddy Dave. There goes my weekend, because he and I are notorious for our binging when we go out together. If either of us goes out with anyone else, nothing weird happens, but when we're on the town, all caution's out the window, and all hell breaks loose. Only to get stuck in our heads the next couple of days. Should be fun.
And yay, it's been raining today ! It's a bit cooler, so I'll be able to sleep now. And I can sleep in. So if you'll excuse me, that's exactly what I planned to go do now. Seeyaz.
European Elections were today. I voted. I share the apathy and total lack of care about Europe that the rest of Holland seems to have, but it just seems wrong to waste a vote. Not voting really isn't a protest when you think about it. Fact is, there's a Europe to be run, and here was your chance - which comes round only once every five years it seems - to have a teeny tiny say in how it's run, and it REALLY doesn't take so damn much of your time, so for god's sake, vote, people.
Ahwell.
Weekend. Lots to do. And tomorrow night I'm supposed to go out with drinking buddy Dave. There goes my weekend, because he and I are notorious for our binging when we go out together. If either of us goes out with anyone else, nothing weird happens, but when we're on the town, all caution's out the window, and all hell breaks loose. Only to get stuck in our heads the next couple of days. Should be fun.
And yay, it's been raining today ! It's a bit cooler, so I'll be able to sleep now. And I can sleep in. So if you'll excuse me, that's exactly what I planned to go do now. Seeyaz.
Sunday, June 06, 2004
Dick, Liver, Dick, Liver, Dick, Liver - Ok, enough with the Manchild quotes.
I am shameless when it comes to not updating this blog. Screw you all ! You pathetic fans who are hitting F5 every six seconds hoping I'll finally reveal more of what's been going on in my life - I don't have to tell you ANYTHING I don't want to.
Ok, that scared away the one reader this blog had. Now I can finally start telling the good stuff. *grins*
Truth is, as usual, I've been too busy etc. to update this. And too much has happened, so everytime I *did* have the time to update, I didn't because there was too damn much to tell.
Guess I'll have to give you guys a quick rundown of things, but then I'm going straight to bed. I'll explain why (besides it being midnight as I type this).
I've been to several events involving more of the national celebs in the comics industry. I finally figured out how the scene works in this country: you won't get any love unless they know you. And not just from words on a screen, no, if they've shared a beer with you or something. I've noticed that, although of course that helps with getting to know anyone pretty much, much more than in the other comics scenes on this planet, the Dutch one is kind of elitist. It doesn't mean to be, because these are all kind, sympathetic people - well, most of them - but there's simply already so many pro's here that new talent has to struggle hard to get any attention. Unless you're one of their friends.
That sounds mean but it's the truth. It's also why - as was very well noticed by Bandirah's friend on the Stripdagen Haarlem - several of the people on the scene have excessively brown tongues. But now the good news: they're getting to know me. Now, that would be good for me if I was selling anything. Or if I wanted a career as a comic artist. I don't. I don't publish books, I don't take on paid assignments, and I won't lose a night's sleep over wether people know me or not. All I want is to become the best comic artist I could become, and create great stories, comics, cartoons etc. that people can read and enjoy for free. That's all I want for myself. However, I'm obviously associated with Probeersel.com - being it's founder and 'main man' - so what's good for whatever career I might otherwise have aspired, is now good for our site.
Aha ! That's where the buck stops, isn't it ? Although Probeersel.com does keep auditions, we're not in the business of letting people in simply because they're friends. One of the core qualities we're trying to uphold is that members are allowed to join simply on the merits of their work, enthousiasm, talent. Right now our group happens to consist of really friendly people, most of which are getting along great with each other as well, but we wouldn't care if you were friendly or would buy us a drink in a bar. So if our community becomes famous enough, we'll be a way for fresh talent - discriminated only on quality, as mentioned above - to really showcase their stuff. I won't be surprised if someone like Bandirah or Sionnain lands a publishing deal later on thanks to the groundwork we're laying now.
So I've been to a few events, chatted up with comic artists, and tried to have as much fun as I could. The Stripdagen Haarlem yesterday were the prime example of that, because BESIDES meeting up with some Probeersel members, scouting the convention, going to an awesome performance by Gummbah, and talking with several artists and journalists I already got to know a lot earlier and value for a lot more than the mere fact that they're the 'in-crowd' (and some even aren't), and drinking myself into a stupor till five in the morning --- besides all that, I did also mingle with the 'in-crowd'. Albeit not too happily; I feel so god damn awkward shaking hands with 'people you should know', and especially when assembled in large groups and when they already know all the other people present. I don't like being the intruder. So it was actually very exhausting.
Most of the people from the Stripliefhebbers forum are 'in-crowd' but practically all of them are pleasant to be around. But to the point of my story, if I have one: I'm the kind of person who suffers great fatigue if I'm introduced to hundreds upon hundreds of faces and names on one day. My head swoons and at some point it switches off and I stop registering new information and try to get back to a situation where I'm in a small group or talking one-on-one with someone again. So yesterday was about one of the most exhausting days in my life so far. I'm not jumping at the opportunity to do that again sometime soon. Whoooof.
It was fun, though. All the events I went to recently were fun, and they're welcome changes from workworkworkworkworkworkworkwork. But exhausting, and the workworkworkworkworkworkworkwork meanwhile piles up anyway. So the Grim's backstash is chipped down to a bare minimum again, Worst Case Scenario is hobbling on only as inspired as I can bring myself to do it, and that's all I'm doing right now. No new projects for a bit anymore. I'm tiiiiiired.
Intermission - Other newsflashes: The cover I did for Stripster.nl is on their site this week. Sionnain is working hard on If I Fell so odds are we'll see some of that very soon (I already have seen a few previews and it looks great, can't wait until the finished result !). At my PAYING job, action has finally been taken to arrange for all the IT Academy stuff to finally be out of my life - that's right folks, I'm going to get a FULL paycheck for the kind of work I do there.. a FAIR treatment, which is all I asked for, anyway. The cats are doing well, Viktor too. Moneywise this has also been a very nice month so far. I used most of it to stock up things that most months don't allow financial room for, and wasted some of the rest - and still have spending room left, so that's all good.
The only other thing I can think of that's worth mentioning is that I've taken up smoking again. Conscious choice, I was sick and tired of waiting for something to happen. I noticed I smoke a whole lot less, now, though - today, for instance, I've smoked a whopping TWO cigarettes - one when we left the hotel this morning (Vik and I booked a room in Haarlem when the party we were at was way too amusing to leave for home from) and one, I dunno, sometime earlier this evening. I just smoke when I feel like it now, instead of the routine breaks. Also, once you've quit and then restart, the first cigarette you smoke again is supposed to be so damn great. I didn't find it to be that exactly - it was just a cigarette.
Smokers really need to get over themselves. All the damn urban myths they tell non-smokers...
Ok, that scared away the one reader this blog had. Now I can finally start telling the good stuff. *grins*
Truth is, as usual, I've been too busy etc. to update this. And too much has happened, so everytime I *did* have the time to update, I didn't because there was too damn much to tell.
Guess I'll have to give you guys a quick rundown of things, but then I'm going straight to bed. I'll explain why (besides it being midnight as I type this).
I've been to several events involving more of the national celebs in the comics industry. I finally figured out how the scene works in this country: you won't get any love unless they know you. And not just from words on a screen, no, if they've shared a beer with you or something. I've noticed that, although of course that helps with getting to know anyone pretty much, much more than in the other comics scenes on this planet, the Dutch one is kind of elitist. It doesn't mean to be, because these are all kind, sympathetic people - well, most of them - but there's simply already so many pro's here that new talent has to struggle hard to get any attention. Unless you're one of their friends.
That sounds mean but it's the truth. It's also why - as was very well noticed by Bandirah's friend on the Stripdagen Haarlem - several of the people on the scene have excessively brown tongues. But now the good news: they're getting to know me. Now, that would be good for me if I was selling anything. Or if I wanted a career as a comic artist. I don't. I don't publish books, I don't take on paid assignments, and I won't lose a night's sleep over wether people know me or not. All I want is to become the best comic artist I could become, and create great stories, comics, cartoons etc. that people can read and enjoy for free. That's all I want for myself. However, I'm obviously associated with Probeersel.com - being it's founder and 'main man' - so what's good for whatever career I might otherwise have aspired, is now good for our site.
Aha ! That's where the buck stops, isn't it ? Although Probeersel.com does keep auditions, we're not in the business of letting people in simply because they're friends. One of the core qualities we're trying to uphold is that members are allowed to join simply on the merits of their work, enthousiasm, talent. Right now our group happens to consist of really friendly people, most of which are getting along great with each other as well, but we wouldn't care if you were friendly or would buy us a drink in a bar. So if our community becomes famous enough, we'll be a way for fresh talent - discriminated only on quality, as mentioned above - to really showcase their stuff. I won't be surprised if someone like Bandirah or Sionnain lands a publishing deal later on thanks to the groundwork we're laying now.
So I've been to a few events, chatted up with comic artists, and tried to have as much fun as I could. The Stripdagen Haarlem yesterday were the prime example of that, because BESIDES meeting up with some Probeersel members, scouting the convention, going to an awesome performance by Gummbah, and talking with several artists and journalists I already got to know a lot earlier and value for a lot more than the mere fact that they're the 'in-crowd' (and some even aren't), and drinking myself into a stupor till five in the morning --- besides all that, I did also mingle with the 'in-crowd'. Albeit not too happily; I feel so god damn awkward shaking hands with 'people you should know', and especially when assembled in large groups and when they already know all the other people present. I don't like being the intruder. So it was actually very exhausting.
Most of the people from the Stripliefhebbers forum are 'in-crowd' but practically all of them are pleasant to be around. But to the point of my story, if I have one: I'm the kind of person who suffers great fatigue if I'm introduced to hundreds upon hundreds of faces and names on one day. My head swoons and at some point it switches off and I stop registering new information and try to get back to a situation where I'm in a small group or talking one-on-one with someone again. So yesterday was about one of the most exhausting days in my life so far. I'm not jumping at the opportunity to do that again sometime soon. Whoooof.
It was fun, though. All the events I went to recently were fun, and they're welcome changes from workworkworkworkworkworkworkwork. But exhausting, and the workworkworkworkworkworkworkwork meanwhile piles up anyway. So the Grim's backstash is chipped down to a bare minimum again, Worst Case Scenario is hobbling on only as inspired as I can bring myself to do it, and that's all I'm doing right now. No new projects for a bit anymore. I'm tiiiiiired.
Intermission - Other newsflashes: The cover I did for Stripster.nl is on their site this week. Sionnain is working hard on If I Fell so odds are we'll see some of that very soon (I already have seen a few previews and it looks great, can't wait until the finished result !). At my PAYING job, action has finally been taken to arrange for all the IT Academy stuff to finally be out of my life - that's right folks, I'm going to get a FULL paycheck for the kind of work I do there.. a FAIR treatment, which is all I asked for, anyway. The cats are doing well, Viktor too. Moneywise this has also been a very nice month so far. I used most of it to stock up things that most months don't allow financial room for, and wasted some of the rest - and still have spending room left, so that's all good.
The only other thing I can think of that's worth mentioning is that I've taken up smoking again. Conscious choice, I was sick and tired of waiting for something to happen. I noticed I smoke a whole lot less, now, though - today, for instance, I've smoked a whopping TWO cigarettes - one when we left the hotel this morning (Vik and I booked a room in Haarlem when the party we were at was way too amusing to leave for home from) and one, I dunno, sometime earlier this evening. I just smoke when I feel like it now, instead of the routine breaks. Also, once you've quit and then restart, the first cigarette you smoke again is supposed to be so damn great. I didn't find it to be that exactly - it was just a cigarette.
Smokers really need to get over themselves. All the damn urban myths they tell non-smokers...
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