Time For Some Desperate Bullshit.

OK, here's a definate first for me. I'm gonna reveal some truths.
Truths I've kept from people, to keep my contact with them nice and easy. Efficient. Avoid uncomfortable situations. After all, who wants that ? Who really wants that ?
I'll start with my parents. I know by now they know where to find this blog, and that they read it from time to time. So here goes, mom, dad. Some of the things I'll say will not be a big surprise to you. Some might be.
I do not feel like I've been raised by you. I've been blessed with a group of friends that acted like a family when I needed one, a family where I do fit in. A family that understands, and supports. Especially you, dad - you have never understood a single thing about me, and somewhere along the lines that ruined things between us for good. You don't understand that, in the end, all I am is an artist. You wanted me to be a good civilian, and a well-adjusted young man, with a steady job, and the works. Well, I'm sorry. I do have a steady job - at least for the time being - and I do appear reasonably well-adjusted. But I really am not. I am an artist. My 'comics', my deep, reasonably skillfully drawn confessions, observations and beliefs poured on paper, are what matters to me most. Especially the Probeersel books. This is something you've never been able to understand. And the things I get myself into, and the things I choose to do, these are things you've never understood and I don't believe anymore that you ever will. I'm an eccentric, apparently, and I always will be, because I simply have to be myself. I can only follow my own rules in life, because I refuse to follow anyone else's. After all, I grew up following your rules, and they didn't work for me, despite your efforts to show me they supposedly are The Way. They are not. Not for me.
So here it is: I'm an unmotivated worker for ING who gets away with the strangest things simply because apparently they value the work I do. Still, I hate the company, and I hate most of the work. I smoke. That's right, I smoke, and have been for two years. I'm not a heavy smoker, I can go to any family gathering without a pack on me. I can go for a weekend, or even a week, without them. But they keep me calm. That's because my head is always full of ideas and keeps running, like a speeding freight train. I've always longed for peace in my head and never got it. Until my first cigarette. And they've kept me calm. That's how I can keep up the appearance of a well-adjusted youngster. I also drink - you keep asking me, and I always deny it, but there you have it. I drink. I've been drinking since I was 18, and I've had a period where I drank very heavily. That was when I was 19 and gave up the direction I was heading, when I dropped out of university and knew, and finally admitted to myself, that the life I was living wasn't for me. I've been looking for the right life ever since. Haven't quite found it yet, but I've been on a better track than I was.
I never tell you these things, simply because the fights we always get in wear me out. I see your point of view, as I've always done, because I share your talent for empathy, but you fail to see mine. So we got stuck somewhere, and I never bothered to snap us out of it anymore. I like the pretense that I'm the good son that's doing reasonably well, and you the secretly proud father that brags to friends and family about my slightest accomplishments, but who yet picks fight after fight with me and never agrees on anything. Break my balls till the end of time, but please, don't ever pretend to know me. You don't, and the more you DO know about me, the more painful your fights are. So please, let it all be. Pretend I'm the good son. You seem to like me best that way, even though you know I lie to your face.
My friends. To you I only have a few small things to confess, really. I pretend to have so damn many one night stands, right ? Well, truth is, since my last relationship I haven't REALLY been with anyone. Sure, I've shared the bed with a few people, but I'm not sure wether I can define that as that anything happened. I killed something inside myself - I killed that I can feel. I can't feel anymore. I don't fall in love anymore. I haven't cried in three years. Except perhaps at a movie, or for someone else - the joys of empathy: I can't feel anything of my own, but I can always tap into other people's emotions and live that. So I steal other people's tears sometimes. It's not the same though. So I tell these wild tales - most semi-based on truth, I'll have to admit though - of women wanting me, and me being quite content with my one-night-stand lifestyle. I'm not. Because I'm dead lonely. That's why there's a stronger and stronger stench of despair when you're around me. It's me. I don't want to be with anyone anymore, and I don't feel anything anymore, but I still get lonely. And empty. And I then search any kind of companionship - I don't need much, just people around me. They don't even need to talk with me, I just need their emotions. To feel SOMETHING. Because I can't, anymore. Not really.
And finally.. I'm really nothing in comics. I try my damnest, and I have archieved some kind of clever style, and I sure put everything I have into my work, but really, I'm nothing. There's so much great talent out there, and even much better ideas than mine. I merely screw around as best I can. Somehow it seems to work, but I always make it look like it's more. A talent that runs in my family. Watch 'Death of a Salesman', and you have a blueprint of that part of my psyche. It sickens me, but hey, people want the pretense, don't they ? The show must go on, to be successful one has to keep up the appearance of success, isn't that all exactly how it is ?
Truth is, I admire all of you. Each and every one of you - even my parents. You are all doing so well in this reality, and I've never really been in it. I'm an escapist. I've never accepted this reality as my own. I just do things that seem about right, but it's all just some kind of.. act. Or a game. I try stuff, but the risks never seem real to me. I just freewheel through life and I'm still waiting for the crash. That moment when everything's supposed to finally appear real. When you hit the wall. But I don't know if I ever really will.

So why this lengthy confession ? Because this ear thing isn't going away. My other ear is joining in. My entire body feels sickly. And there's some kind of definite feel to it. Like this is it, the credits set in, the end theme is playing. I dunno. Perhaps I'm just depressed or something, and happen to be a bit ill at the same time. I sure seem to be in good shape otherwise. But in case this is the curtains call, I just wanted to make amends. Finally drop the masks. Fuck it all. Wether I live to see the new year or anything else or not, I needed to do this. I'm sure people will want to talk with me about all this, but please, don't. There's a reason I wear these masks. It made it bearable to talk with you all. But if any of you ever wondered what the real me is like, here you have it. All my cards are on the table. Now let's see how this game ends, and wether or not there's time for another round.

Cough cough.

Yeah.. I'm having a great Friday and Saturday so far :( Most of Friday I was too beat to get out of bed, I stayed in until somewhere after 6 PM, and around 9 or so my right ear suddenly jammed shut. I've been trying to get it unplugged since, and it's 6 AM on Saturday now. Why am I not in bed ? Because I seem to have caught some kind of cold in the process too and between the coughing and the awkward shut-down ear, I'm having trouble catching my sleep.. so I got up for a short bit to check online for some things. One of which is the RWWR crossover, and it's not here yet.. I sent an email to Matt because, well, if things this weekend continue to go as they do now, it's gonna be a VERY close call and I really need to be up to it :(
With my luck, I'll merely have a shitty weekend like this, with one good ear and coughing fits, and be back in good shape again Monday morning to go to work. *sighs*.
Anyway, gonna go retry that sleep thing now. Later folks.

We Can't Stop Here, This Is Bat Country !

An insane road trip, that'd be a good way to describe my week so far. It's been crazy and quite busy and a lot of issues that were quietly seething thusfar are now definately erupting. It's good though, in more than one way - to speak in "Office Space"-references: this is good for the company. It's also kind of envigorating to return from a very mentally cleansing vacation to dive head-on in things that have been ignored for too long - and contrary to what I wrote before my vacation, things have gone to a level where my input actually matters as well, so it's not like there are loads of issues that influence my work but I can't do anything about. I like it, but it *is* a lot like an insane road trip on 'mind-expanding' drugs. As corporate environments go, I'll have to admit once more that my department is a pretty interesting place to be, and has been from the start.
I took another step in evolving into the protagonist from Office Space: I already had few qualms left about doing most of what he does in the movie, but now I've directly told my boss the full, honest, blatant truth about the issues that our clients and ourselves have with our application and have had for over a year, and the way I phrased it, I basically expected that if anything was going to get me fired, it'd be that. However, my email (ok, so perhaps it wasn't TOO directly) has by now been praised and dubbed 'a very good analysis' (I still consider it as nothing more or less than honest, harsh criticism, of the kind that in my previous department I got reprimanded for) and people (including my boss) are glad someone finally adressed it completely and are now very intent on tackling the issues for real. I've also witnessed another first: my boss told one of our clients honestly everything that was going on (he even read my email out loud to her) instead of depicting the application as the answer to all their prayers. I'm truly amazed. I know, anyone outside any corporate environment can't possibly think much of all of this, but if you spend a long enough time in places like these you get too used to things not changing and people only looking out for their own best interest, and serious issues simply being ignored. It sounds absurd, but this is the truth about how the governments and large companies serve you, folks. I work for a huge banking/insurance firm and have definately kept my eyes open as to how everything is run. Trust me, I know these things. You wouldn't believe how much of your money is wasted all over the place, and how little these people REALLY serve you.
Ok, that's my rant about that subject.. not really a rant, I suppose, because I'm actually hopeful again that things will start changing for the better. But still.
Other than that, the amount of things going on this week are also towards the absurd. Work has tired me out most of this week (even to the point that all I did yesterday, when I actually arrived ON TIME at home, instead of working late and suffering public transport mismanagement, was upload one episode of Worst Case Scenario, and head straight to bed to sleep a blissful full 8 hours) and tonight I have a retirement celebration of a valued client, then I have to hurry to Tilburg to make good on a promise to watch Liesbet's performance in the Cul de Sac, and then I really need to catch some quick sleep because tomorrow morning I (probably) will be visited by my old friend Jack Didden. Then later that day I have some personal matters that really need to be looked into, that I'm not going to write about just yet. Don't worry folks, I'll enlighten you when I feel it's all definate enough to talk about. Then of course the rest of the weekend there's a lot of drawing to be done, I also have to keep my eye out to RWWR's Matt Frankenfield sending in the crossover for next Sunday's The Grim DotCom - he is used to this kind of short notice, but I'm used to having comics up at least half a week in advance, if not months. So I'm getting nerveous, to be honest - though I'm sure it'll be ok. He is a semi-pro, like me, after all.
Ok, as I type this about five people have dropped by with all sorts of questions and issues again, so I guess I really should focus on my job again. Catch you later folks.

First Day Back In The Office

*Grumbles* Ok, I'm tired, my clients are bugging me, and I want to go home and sleep. I think I need a vacation.
Actually, it's not that bad - I just wrote this for the irony of it all. In any case, my day is long and it's crammed again with stupid clients and unnecessarily-much-time-consuming activities. I would have kicked some ass at work today if the infrastructure woulda let me. But nooooo, a simple change takes half of the day already. Then some more such activities and a completely redundant meetings. Sometimes I wonder how people can stand working when there's so much life that could be lived instead.

Sloth In 100% Pure Form.

I've been slacking off everything because I've felt too tired - or lazy, not sure which of the two. In any case, I sent of three t-shirts with original, handwritten letters and original drawings again today (boy will I be glad when the last 8 t-shirts are gone) and I ran one load of laundry. That's when I was too tired to do anything else anymore. I watched Citizen Kane instead of drawing anything else anymore or cleaning the house. And if it wasn't for the facts that 1) there is NOTHING good on Dutch tv, and 2) Joris, my 'sponsor' for avoiding the Cul de Sac (my fav bar that I for undisclosed reasons try to avoid going to lately) actually had to work there tonight, I would have just gone to bed early. Instead, I went out, had a reasonable time, and now I'm intoxicated and tired. So if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment with my bed. See yas later folks. René out.

Man, blogging is dangerous...

How to not get fired because of your blog is Blogspot's latest masterpiece... damn... I'm glad I never have to censor what I write !
So yeah, I went to Utrecht yesterday and I ended up becoming very marshmellow (ha ha ha ha). Then the last train to 's Hertogenbosch left me stranded because it missed its connection with the train to Tilburg, and things in this country have become so bad that cabs will NOT bring you 30 km further for 45 Euros. Dude, show me ANYONE who can't drive that distance for that price if he was HONEST about how much it cost, you know, the driver's pay per hour, the amount of time, the gas price, etc.
I'd have stayed in 's Hertogenbosch and just slept till the first train if it wasn't for various bums keeping on sneaking by the bench I was sleeping on, eyeing me, trying to figure out if I was worth robbing and stabbing to death. So I ended up taking a cab after all and just getting my bank account into the red numbers. Then I had it drop me off somewhere I was sure was close to my home, and in retrospect it was, but I had NO clue where I was once I got out of the cab and it drove off. So I stumbled around for about an hour in the cold night before I finally had tracked down the Hyssopstraat, and basically stayed in bed the entire day today. I would have gone for longer, but as my vacations always seem to go, I have a lot of stuff to do. In this case, I need to send off more Probeersel.com t-shirts. I should also really draw some Grim DotCom episodes n stuff, but I'm damn near spent for the day just having gotten up, so I don't know if perhaps sleeping a good night first might in fact help a whole lot more. In any case, it's now time for me to get offline and write a few t-shirt accompanying letters. Later folks. Wish me luck.

About that 'Mom Discovers Blog' thing...

About this news item... you dolt, if you're so worried about the fact that your mom found your blog through google, why allow this interview where you reveal all your vices in snack-ready bitesizes ? If she indeed hadn't found these things in your blog yet, she will surely find them in this news article. DORK !! Ok, just had to say that.
Blogspot by the way updated their 'we have no stance on what to do when your mom finds your blog' message with the following FAQ... for anyone who's interested.
Ok, René, so it's 5 15 in the damn morning and you're up. WHY ?? Well, first off, I've been sleeping too much (yes, there is such a thing). I've also fallen asleep at 10 last night, and considering I usually sleep from about 2 or 3 AM to 6 30 AM on a (working) weekday, I'd say I've done well on the catching-up-on-my-sleep thing. Secondly, I realised the Worst Case Scenario backstash was only ready up until and including today. So I quickly made one for tomorrow. Thirdly, I have to get up in about 15 minutes anyway and get ready to head out to Waspik, my home village where I wasted the better part of my life away getting held back in my development. Why would I want to return to this Dutch version of a redneck town ? Well, here's the one redeeming quality about Waspik: they have a few awesome dentists there. I've tried some of the dentists in Tilburg and just HAD to switch back because I realised how spoiled I'd been all these years. My own dentist is a helluvaguy, with excellent service, where visits never take longer than five minutes, and the bill makes you laugh out loud and go to work whistling a tune. Sufficient to say my dentistry experiences in Tilburg, otherwise one of the greatest cities on this planet, were less satisfactory. So twice a year I go to the dentist in Waspik.
Then I have to actually start drawing soon - there's backstashes to be rebuilt for Worst Case Scenario as well as The Grim DotCom, damnit ! Plus, there's a few ideas that have crystallized into storyboards while I was in Philly that I should start working on as well. And by 6 I have to be in Utrecht because we're giving our colleague (I mentioned him somewhere near the beginning, around the time I started considering going to Philadelphia) a proper goodbye. So we'll be drinking like there's no tomorrow ;) ;)
Sooooo... yeah, you could say I have a busy day ahead of me. One that started early and ends late, no doubt. Just when I thought the Philly craziness was over, the Tilburg madness starts. I have a feeling this will be another one of those vacations which you need a vacation from right afterwards...
As to how I'm doing, I've been stammering around the house all day yesterday, feeling really out of it. Reality didn't quite seem to register, everything was just signals like someone was TELLING me what I was experiencing, instead of direct data processing in the head. Wonder how long this Philly Swoon will last, because I'm still sort of in it. Then again, perhaps it's just narcolepsy.
Eeek, my alarm went off. Ok, guess I'm not crawling back under the covers before heading out. *shivers* Talk with you later folks. If I have the time for it.

Good Morning, Good Morning, To You...

God, I hate Singing In The Rain. Don't know why I remembered that song all of a sudden - it must all be Seth's fault. Seth is one of the managers of the Bank Street Hostel, and he made me watch Singing In The Rain :P~
I slept like a log !!! I can go for more, but I guess I really should get out of the house for at least a short while. I fell asleep sometime at 6 or so last evening, hauled my ass upstairs some bit later, and went out like a light till pretty much 11. Guess I had jet lag after all - either that, or this is the 'only sleeping for a few hours every day for over a week' finally catching up with me. In either case, I was TIRED.
So yeah, just to let you guys know, I landed safe, and the Cool People hung out on Friday and Saturday some more, which is when the group got some new members. We all had breakfast n stuff, and a picture was taken of the entire group (minus Jack, though, since he was in New Jersey for the weekend). Ahh, enough babbling. I need to get something to eat. And get out of the house. Talk with you guys later !!

René out.

"We Have No Official Standing On What Happens When Your Mom Finds Your Blog"

Hehe.. that's literally one of the 'internal headlines' in Blogspot. That's funny.
So yeah.. they watched Barfly in the hostel yesterday and enjoyed it as I have last (which was also first) time I saw it. So glad I found that movie and can take that home, 'cause it's awesome. So yeah, after that Tremaine, L.C. and I went to Molly's and had a blast of a great time. That about sums up my evening, except that it was the seventh evening in a row that I was up late because I was talking with a girl in the hostel - this time, however, it wasn't so much social as about ethics and philosophy, me after all HAVING studied those subjects and given them more thought over the years. Interesting conversation though, I'll have to admit. But once again, I'm pretty tired today. However, coffee is not COMPLETELY a requirement this morning, so that's ok.
I'll likely have more stories for ya, but really, I want to find the phone number to call here in Philly to reach US Airways, because I need to reconfirm my flight (ugh, I hate this part) and I have trouble finding it online, so talk to you guys later. Seeyaz !

Morning... Too Early... Coffee...

Ugh, I'm getting some serious sleep deprivation - I keep staying up late in the hostel, drinking, and then sleeping until 9 when the process of kicking the guests out for the day starts. I dragged myself to the ING Direct café today and just walked in saying 'coffee... please...' - small or large ? - 'um, coffee... anything.. yeah, large' - do you want it in a mug or a cup ? - 'ummm... *brain creaks and croaks* cup, please... sorry.. not awake...'
Apparently it was amusing to witness, though. So it's all good. My brain's kicking into gear now but it's still sluggish - I could go for a couple more hours of napping or so. Anywho.
Do I have some stories to tell !! Stories about the Academy of the Fine Arts. About the yearly fundraiser auction at the Print Centre. About going out to celebrate Jack's birthday, which included trying to find a malasian restaurant, and chatting with a cute greek girl (Maria) at Molly's. About going to Buck County to visit Kristen, that artist I mentioned before. About danzels in distress at the hostel. About L.C. and Tremaine. About the Robot Lady, the Bear Cave, the Bird Cage, the Whistling Man, Ms. IHaveAnotherQuestion, Maïté, Janene, Deborah, and many other interesting guests that I encountered at the hostel so far. But I ain't gonna.
It's odd - I usually adjust to my surroundings pretty quick, but each day has been so eventful it feels like I've been here 11 months, not 11 days. I feel right at home and accepted everything around me as reality. Returning home is going to be very, very odd, indeed. I still recall Viktor, the posse, Satan and Damien, my colleagues, and everyone, but somehow it seems like all that is ages away. I am a bit homesick, though. I think the time's starting to get ripe for returning - which is good, because that's in another few days.
In any case, it's a great day today, and I have no clue what I'll do. I do want to finally finish reading Blackwood Farm, and I have some more books lined up. So I think I'm just going to chill, try not to do anything eventful anymore, and that'll be it. Just take it easy on my last few days in Philly, ya know ?
I'm gonna miss this place. It's going to be odd. Ahwell - at least I'll never be able to say that I regretted going back to here.

Great - Now I'm Homesick !!

The PA Academy of the Fine Arts turned out to be closed to visitors today. So instead, I turned my full roll of film in with a Rite Aid 1 Hour photo service and went back to the ING Direct café to read for an hour. Then I picked up the pictures - some of them really came out rather nice despite the extremely cheap camera, but then I got to the last (or rather, the first) pictures, and found three I'd forgotten about, that I'd shot at home to see if the camera would work ok. There's one where Viktor (my roommate) and Satan (Satan's my cat) are playing with each other on our pool table, and now I'm all homesick. I miss Satan and Damien... I hope my cats are alright. They're awesome.
That's about all I have to say about that.. also, tomorrow apparently is Veteran's Day, which is a banking holiday, so I might not be updating my blog that day. This is sort of an announcement to those of you who've come to expect a daily update on my vacation - I'm sorry, it's kind of beyond my power. It'll likely also be a busy day, since Jack has his birthday to celebrate, I have an art gallery opening party to go to, and RWWR's Matt & Justin were thinking about hanging out that day, too. At this rate, I may need to plan in a trip to that artist's place or I'll never get round to it, what with all the events that keep crossing my path.
So, I'm now heading back into my adventurous vacation, if you'll excuse me. Catch ya later down the trail, hombre. Say friend, do you have any more of that good sasparilla ?

Me Again, It's The Cat In The Hat...

Well, I do wear a hat. And I am a bit of a cool cat, right ? No ? Not even a bit --> <-- ? Hrm. Ok. Nevermind then.
We did go to Amishville yesterday (Lancaster, PA) and it was pretty cool. We went to Valley Forge first, though, a big forest park near Philly where the Americans hid and licked their wounds after the Brits had kicked their hineys. Then they trained heavily, got their act together, and laid some asswhoopin' on them Brits. It's all Rocky, man. I swear.
So, ok, question: If you had to be on a train to Boston from a Philadelphia train station in the middle of a heavy-traffic area, at six, so at traffic hour, would you rent a car and drive sixty miles out of the city and not head back into the city until you had about an hour to go, and leave your bags on the OTHER side of the city as well ? Greg would.. if it wasn't for the combined efforts of Jack (guiding him back TO Philly) and me (guiding him through the quickest routes within Philly - stuff you'd normally never realise unless you drive a bicycle around) he would NEVER have made it. But, as far as I know, he made it. He should - his solution of bypassing any trouble with the car rental company was: parking the car in a paid spot and handing me the keys and the parking ticket before running to catch his train just in time - I didn't mind, hell, I just hope he made it, because they kept me there for twenty minutes because there was only one desk girl and noone who could drive the car to the rental company's garage (just a couple of feet away from it) because I don't drive. Yay !!
Ahwell. Had a good evening: Seth, our more spiteful manager in the Bank Street Hostel, decided to lay Singing In The Rain on us for the evening movie (every evening at 9 they play a movie). Now, I've seen this movie some 11 times in my life, and more than once was already enough for it to get on my nerves every time again. It's not a BAD movie, but it's so damn cheesy, poorly acted, ADHD-hyper, and the actual good jokes are rare with large chunks of pulp in between. It definately is NOT a classic in my book, and I wasn't afraid of telling the truth about it while I was semi-forced to watch it, anyway *grins* So Seth, spiteful little man as he is, played the song (Singing In The Rain) over and over and over the remainder of the evening, and after an otherwise very nice night of sleep, at 9 we all awoke in room 3 to that very song again. I'll admit it made me chuckle but damn, what a spiteful little mind. I definately have to lay some more button-pushing on him, I bet it's fun. *grins* Ahhhh how I love tormenting people who get angry or spiteful over nothing.
So what's on the agenda for today ? Well, for one, my prepaid card is almost spent, I discovered last night to my major surprise. I checked it Friday and it said I spent only four of thirty bucks, with over 45 minutes of calling. Two days of barely any calling later and it's some three bucks ?! T Mobile, man... I'm starting to suspect I'm bent over and they're using me for storage. So anyway, I need to go pay them some more mulah so I can stay in business with this stupid cell phone. Then I have no plans, I might go to the Academy of the Fine Arts, since I landed some free tix to there, and it sounds interesting enough to check out. Then again, if it does get some warmer today, I might just as well just bike around and enjoy one of the last sunny days we might get for all I know.
In any case, my typing time is about up again, so it's time to go bother my colleagues (ING, after all) at the little coffee bar to my left, again. See ya folks.

René out.

[witty title I didn't feel like coming up with]

Again it's gorgeous weather, but, like yesterday, it's pretty cold. I went to the Philadelphia Museum of Art yesterday with Jack, and we saw pretty much EVERYTHING. Which, as anyone who's ever been in that museum, is an ARCHIEVEMENT. We did have a visual information overload towards the end, though, so we left quickly. And it took us over four hours to make the rounds - and I kind of cheated, since I still recalled the museum rather well from five years ago, when I went to it two or three times. So anyone pulling that off in under four hours has my respect.
Then I went back to the hostel, but not before quickly checking out Borders (books, music and movies) and finding American Beauty - Sionnain reads this journal from time to time, so I'd just like to say to her: I've by now found Chasing Amy and this one, so you don't have to try and find these two movies for me anymore. I might, however, come up with some other titles if they're hard to find ;)
Then I fell asleep after reading a few chapters of Anne Rice's Blackwood Farm in the hostel, and just as I was napping, my incredibly loud cellphone woke me up. It was the family I'd stayed with on my last visit, they were going to a movie, if I'd like to go as well ? The movie was "Km.0" and it was pretty cool. It was a Spanish movie, and despite being a foreign movie in a rather cultural city, it was not anywhere near philosophical or important: it was just a delightfully entertaining and sweet little fairytale and mostly it was light, feel-good nonsense. It was cute and everyone left the theatre having had a good time. I guess that can count as a good movie, under the right circumstances, too, then - right ?
I'm back at the ING Direct café again, which is turning out to be my morning livingroom - I have yet to start the day off somewhere else. I didn't have any plans today, but Greg (Greg's an Aussie who checked in a few days ago and we've been hanging out with him a lot) is renting a car and Jack called me to tell me they're gonna go see Amish people, if I'd like to go as well ?
Um, sure, why not ? So I guess that's what I'm doing today. Should be fun.
So, I guess I'll talk with y'all later !

7 Days And Counting.

Saturday - nearly been here a week now. Too much has been going on, it's great. Yesterday was a pretty interesting day. Decided to head out to the University City part and see the museum that a fellow hostel guest, Jack, is doing his research at for his phD. It was pretty interesting (the museum of archeology and anthropology) but I couldn't help thinking during my visit 'Why on earth am I inside this reasonably warm museum when it's GORGEOUS weather outside ?!' and it was, too. Haven't seen it that hot yet since I got here. And today's looking to be pretty nice, as well, just for the record.
Anyway, met some very interesting places here and there. Some American guy who was so heavily influenced by his Australian father that he sounded and even somehow looked incredibly Australian; a female artist at the First Friday event (I'll get to that); and a workshops-consultant-type of comedian who's staying at the hostel, and she's awesome as well :)
Other than that, I've been hanging out at Rittenhouse Square park, then at Barnes&Noble (great collection of books and you can just take a not-purchased book into the café part and read it there) and then I hurried back to the hostel because much to my surprise it was 4 30 already and Jack and I were gonna go to the First Friday stuff.
Now, First Friday is, as far as I know, pretty unique to Philly. It's every first friday of the month (hence the name) and they open up all the art galleries n stuff, and artists mingle with the crowd, there's musicians playing live music in the streets, etc. etc. - I saw it five years ago when I first came to Philly and I was looking forward to seeing it again if it happened to occur in this vacation. And it did, but get this - WE MISSED IT !!! We ended up not leaving the hostel (you know how you can sometimes just get delay heaped on delay upon excuse upon delay etc.) till 9, only to hear at 2nd street that it was a 5-9 event. That just.. sucked. Ohwell. We still jumped into a few galleries that were open longer and even one gallery/bar where we had a great time. That's where I met the artist, and she apparently owns a barn about an hour (by car or train) away from here and invited me to come visit for a day or two if I wanted. I'll think about it - if any of the days of next week are slow, I'll make sure to go. She had some interesting ideas and everything, so yeah :)
Anyway, I'm sure there's loads more I could tell you about, but I'm simply not gonna. The short version is, I'm having a blast and it doesn't look like it's gonna get boring anytime soon. So excuse me while I kiss the sky.

"Hey, do we serve water in this place ?!"

To all you movie fans: apparently there ARE Coyote Ugly saloons in the States. In fact, Philadelphia has one, and yes, the cleavage there is as impressive and tightly packaged as in the movie - if not worse. *grins* However, it's a kind of sad place to be on a Thursday night, because I've seen funerals with a more festive spirit than it was in there last night. Maybe I should check it out again on a busier day or somethin'. Who knows ;) Nobody even got on the damn bar or anything !
I guess that oficially makes my 'quiet day' a failed attempt, so perhaps I should just stop trying. However, it's gorgeous weather again today, so perhaps I'll just hang out at one of the two rivers again. The Mütter Museum was good to revisit yesterday, though I seem to recall a reall 'hall of death', a hall with nothing but skeletons, there, and I saw no such impressive thing there yesterday. So I dunno, perhaps they got rid of part of their collection or closed a hall due to it being the off-season. Got some cool drawings done there though.
Today's the day of the First Friday events, which is a monthly recurring event in Philly (on, big surprise, the first Friday of the month), where all the art galleries open for free and artists go out in the street and there's music and everything, and as I recall from five years ago, it's pretty cool. So I'll be checking it out, especially if it's going to be the weather it looks it will be.
So I'm sure today will be an entertaining day. I'll talk with you guys some other time !!

Please, just ONE quiet day.

I'm really in the mood for a nice quiet, rather uneventful day. And so is my wallet, to be frank. I'm currently hanging out again in the ING Direct café and I'm considering just staying put till 4 30. I've got some books I can read, and I've got my drawing materials with me, and the people who work here are reasonably entertaining to talk with (as are the visitors) so I just might stay put, too.
I have a load of things I could tell you guys but I really just don't want to, to be honest *evil grin* it's nothing spectacular, just, things I've encountered here. Glad the mayor election craziness is over, that was just flat-out bizarre. People here take their elections extremely seriously, man - I've seen candidates driving around spouting messages through megaphones that their opponents are nazis and fascists, and people holding up signs next to the road with 'honk for [candidate]' and stuff like that. It's so very different from Holland.. I've never seen supporters of opposing political camps beat on each other, literally. Supporters of opposing soccer teams, sure, but never political supporters. Eerie stuff.
Alright, guess I'll go back to sitting at either the bar or a table, we'll see. René out.

Revolutionary.

Obviously I'm referring to The Matrix: Revolutions in the title. And can I just say: WOW.
I went to the first show here in Philly, 12 45 in the afternoon, and it blew my mind. It's exactly as I suspected: there's a pattern to the third movie too, and it ties the other two storytelling blocks together. I'm not entirely sure how aware the Wachowsky brothers are of this, but I see patterns in their epic tale that I'm not even sure anyone else has spotted yet. And I was patiently awaiting this third movie because if my suspicions were right, people would be discussing these very patterns still ten years from now. And they will. Or if they won't, they should, because it's insanely genious.
A short summary of my perception to explain the above: The first movie is about, well, obviously, the Matrix, and the thinking of the machine world in ones and zeros, yes and no, choices, either this OR that, never another option. Neo, of course, represents the human psyche that simply doesn't reason as coldly logically as that but always sees more potentials and options. But look at the movie closely and observe that the plotlines twist in a 1-0 style, too - I kid you not ! It's constantly the following of options until, of course, Neo revives and becomes a big surprising third option.
Second movie: everyone's been critisizing that this movie's scenes are unneccessary longwinded, seemingly randomly staged after each other, etc. --- well, what's the movie's point ? CAUSALITY. The seemingly random sequence of events - ahhhhh... you beginning to see patterns now, too ?
And so the third movie.. I'll admit, I was well beyond the first half hour of the movie before I finally caught the pattern, though it was so obvious and - in a non-cliché way, in a BRILLIANT way - predictable. I really should have predicted it, because it was too damn inevitable that that would tie the two earlier patterns together: BALANCE. It's yin and yang, man, seriously. The scenes follow Neo, then Smith, or the machines, then the humans, etc. etc. the entire movie through. And what does the Oracle say ? Balance and imbalance. And watch the epic final fighting sequence between Smith and Neo, when they twirl through the air - if there ever was a more perfect human depiction of Yin and Yang, I haven't heard of it.
I'm sorry if people disagree with all this or don't see it, because it's there. I'm not imagining it, this trilogy is built like no other trilogy I've ever seen anywhere. It's art. Even beyond the incredible rollercoaster ride it is to begin with.

Oh, and I fixed my bike n stuff. And had a good day. But I didn't bother to go see anything else anymore after Revolutions, I just think it would have paled in comparison. Tomorrow the rest of the city, the museums, and whatever crosses my path, will get another chance.

Later folks ! Go watch Revolutions. Don't be afraid to email me your own thoughts on it, either. René out.

It was about time for a Good-Time-hangover.

So yeah, I spent a bundle on comics yesterday, when I finally found Craig Thompson's critically acclaimed earlier masterpiece Goodbye, Chunky Rice, as well as several other really nice books and a few awesome JTHM t-shirts. Then I had some really greasy chinese food (ewww) that was too much for me (even though I'm quite the big eater normally) and in the evening, me and the RWWR crew (Matt, Justin, Daemonlord) hung out for a while which was awesome.
However, my vacation budget has been FLYING out of my wallet so I really need to tone down on some things for a few days or else I'll be taking out more than I was planning on. Not that that would result in problems anytime soon, but you just kind of want to avoid that and reserve that for real emergencies, yaknow ? So yeah, the next few days I'm on a low budget. Which sucks because the free bike is having issues with its hind wheel. I've been looking for a good wrench to fix it - I grew up in bicycle country, after all, so I know a thing or two about fixing bike messes, but without even a wrench there's really fairly little I can do. So I've been looking for a wrench again this morning, and being in such a situation gives you a whole new perspective on a city like this. You walk around thinking 'OK, I need a wrench' and there's like NO hardware stores anywhere. Seriously. It's all barber shops, museums, diners, restaurants, bars, clothing stores, nail salons, phone shops, bookstores, cd stores, etc. etc. and you find yourself thinking "What kind of sissy mommy's boys city IS this ??"
Not to detract from the charm of the city to me, because I still think Philly is a great place to be, but in all frankness, I NEED A WRENCH. NOW.
I'm resourceful though, so I'm sure I'll dig up a place where they actually sell them. I'll be fine.

Ended up spending most of the day at the Schuylkill river yesterday, because of the awesome weather. Lots of gorgeous women jogging there, by the way ;) It's quite bit more dreary today so I'm thinking museum or movie or something. Matrix Revolutions is coming out today so I'm gonna try and catch that. From what I gathered online there's also day shows of it, so I'm gonna try and beat the big run to the ticket office by waiving the 'nothing to do during the day' privilige. *grins*
Anywho, talk with you later folks, my half hour here is almost up again. Laterz !

Again, too little time to get into detail.

Sorry folks, again I can't tell you EVERYTHING that's happened because there's just too much to tell again. Who knows, perhaps someday I'll regurgitate all the events, but not right now - too busy living my vacation to stop and recite it ;) Besides, you're only allowed on a pc in this cafe for half an hour...
However, I'll give you a few highlights and just leave ya curious for more..
I've bought a prepaid cellphone to be more readily available to a few people I intend to meet around these parts. I got an australian hat to protect myself a little bit from the gorgeous weather it's over here.. it's hot !! it's like mild summer weather, it's amazing.. in November !!
I got a free bicycle - yes, really. I won't tell the story now but it's funny :)
Got to browse the local comic book store but couldn't quite find what I was looking for, however, they might know more later in the week. And yesterday evening I hooked up with an australian and a british guy and we went barhopping - it was loads of fun :)
So, don't worry about me, I'm getting set up for a good and convenient time around these parts (after all, a bike and a cellphone, I can already pass for a local), and I'm having a blast.
Thinking about going by the museums today, but then again, it might be another gorgeous day, so I might also just opt for going to one of the two rivers and sit there in the sun and draw, while there still is gorgeous weather like this shining down on us.
I love Philly !! René out ;)

Wow ! Just.. wow.

I have too much to tell already, but I also noticed that Blogspot suddenly changed its setup, which also made things way cooler. Awesome !
I'm in Philly, spent my first night there n stuff. It was good, I love this city and it's still an amazing place. Already been off to a good start: the people I stayed with last time still live here and they took me out for dinner. Then, back in the hostel, around 10 the jetlag finally hit me (some straight 30 hours of daylight, yeah...) and I rushed upstairs for a fairly okish night sleep. I can't stand the snorers though, so if in four more nights I still can't, I'll be checking out the prices at nearby cheap hotels.
Anywho.. there's poetic justice to the following: I am on vacation from ING, right ? In my favourite city ? Well, there's only one Internet café in this city, and guess what ? It's the ING Direct Café ! Internet free, compliments of ING - isn't that awesome ? :)
It's a bit of a walk, but I'll be looking into getting a bicycle and a cellphone today to improve my abilities of getting around town and getting in touch with some people.
I can't type much right now because I want to go and see some more of the city n stuff. But I'll be sure to check back again ! See ya folks !

OK, now I'm getting nervous.

This is it.. I think I've made all necessary preparations, but you always forget something, don't you ? So I'll just have to see what it turns out to be once I get there, because this time tomorrow I'll be watching the last movie on the plane before landing sometime soon.
You won't believe how stressful these past few days have turned out to be after all.. setting up a quick upload solution so Joep can update Worst Case Scenario while I'm not there and still see what has and hasn't been done resulted in me coding till two thirty on thursday night, during which coding an infinite loop slipped into the code that crippled the server for a few hours. It later turned out also to make the error logs grow nearly exponentially, resulting in a 150+ Mb error log, whereas I still only had some 90 Mbs left of server space. So of course, Protagonist gave me shit about it, but then again, I couldn't delete these logs because I don't have access !
They and I figured it out, but all this took place early this morning, while I was trying to stay awake enough to finish the half year report, so yeah.. I had a great morning. Wonderful. Must do that again sometime.
And then there was the wonderful experience of Satan peeing into my only still useful suitcase while I was hanging up laundry. I love my cats !!!! So I had to go out today and get myself a new suitcase. Did get a really good Samsonite, though - figured, if I'm getting a new suitcase anyway, might as well get one that'll last me a long time, right ? And it's a nice one, too. So it's all good, except that these habits of both our cats of peeing on everything except their own kitty litter really should be stopped somehow. It's getting bloody annoying. And then the shower drain was clogged up yesterday while I was taking a really late shower and that was loads of fun as well.. But it's none of my concern for the next two weeks: I'm gonna leave the entire household behind me. I'm sure I'll miss the cats (especially at night, no nice warm heavy lumps of fur slumped over my sleeping body anymore) and who knows, maybe I'll even miss Viktor. But I truly think it'll be REALLY good for me to be out of there for a while.

So this is it: I'm going to Philadelphia. Don't know if I'll be posting anything at all while I'll be there, but rest assured, as long as I'm not posting, I'll make sure I'm safe and having a grand time. So if you don't hear from me for a while, check back after the 16th.

René out. Tom's coming over tonight, and he's agreed to look after probeersel.com while I'm gone. Poor bugger - the whole deal with the logs should give him an idea of the crap he could be getting himself into.. Later folks !!